This one's for Lisa. :)

You only stay with me in the morning,

You only hold me when I sleep,

I was meant to tread the water,

But now I've gotten in too deep,

For every piece of me that wants you,

Another piece backs away.

'Cause you give me something,

That makes me scared alright,

This could be nothing,

But I'm willing to give it a try,

Please give me something,

'Cause someday I might know my heart.

You only waited up for hours,

Just to spend a little time alone with me,

And I can say I've never bought you flowers,

I can't work out what they mean,

I never thought that I'd love someone,

That was someone else's dream.

'Cause you give me something,

That makes me scared alright,

This could be nothing,

But I'm willing to give it a try,

Please give me something,

'Cause someday I might call you from my heart.

But it might be a second too late,

And the words that I could never say,

Are gonna come out anyway.

'Cause you give me something,

That makes me scared alright,

This could be nothing,

But I'm willing to give it a try,

Please give me something,

Mmmm

'Cause you give me something,

That makes me scared alright,

This could be nothing,

But I'm willing to give it a try,

Please give me something,

Cause someday I might know my heart.

Know my heart,

Know my,

Know my heart,

Mmmmhmmm

I planned to wake up at 7 a.m. (Come on, that's pretty decent!) to finish revising for good ol' Phonetics and Phonology but my body simply refused to cooperate. It's 1 p.m. now and I'm STILL not doing any revision. Perhaps listing down the things I have to accomplish by today will jolt me into Productive Mode, so here goes:

To-do List for Sunday, 28 September 2008:
1. Finish remaining 3 chapters for Sound System of English
2. Re-do tutorials for the above
3. Do up 'Language and History' slides for Inter-cultural Communication project
4. Start on readings for Media Writing reflection

Oh dear, that does seem like alot now, doesn't it?

ANYWAY.

Loolooolooooooooo!

One bloody seventeen p.m.; I spaced out for a whole thirteen minutes, whoopdeedoo. The bulk of my recess week was spent on studying and projects, leaving precious little time for rest and play. My mum always has this moment nearing the end of the holidays when she will start lamenting, "If I had just one more day, I would be contented." This is probably familiar to most people. Although I feel pretty good about actually being quite productive in terms of schoolwork, I still wish there was more time to go out, shop, exercise and read the pile of wonderful books that remain untouched in the corner of my shelf. Books that aren't textbooks or bound pages of readings, thank you very much. There's 'Twilight' by Stephenie Meyer and 'The Shadow of the Wind' by Carlos Ruiz Zafón, borrowed from my cousin Zhuang and Melv respectively, as well as 'Specimen Days' by Michael Cunningham, bought from Cheers at the petrol station (of all places). There's also what's left of 'The English Patient', which I unceremoniously abandoned for 'The Kite Runner'—great read alert! I can't start on them because I KNOW I'll just keep ploughing on and on till I reach the end of the book while neglecting other more pressing things in my life. Bad. Bad, bad Stevie. Baaaaaaaaaad. That's probably the only line I can remember best from Semester 1's 'The Secret Agent'! Haha.

The Student Exchange Programme (SEP) list is out, and I've narrowed down my choices to the University of Copenhagen in Denmark and the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands; both have pretty good courses that are relevant to both my majors and I'm really looking forward to doing the tourist thing with my friends instead of my family, for the very first time—I know, I know. My parents are strict like that. L The Beijing trip in primary 6 does not count as there were so many teachers mothering us anyway. Melv and Jem already have plans to tour certain parts of Europe after our semester in either one of those places, but I'm not too sure about that. Besides the fact that my parents will probably object, there's also the nagging issue about money. I guess I'll have to find work during the holidays to settle at least part of that problem and like Melv said, I have one whole year to convince my parents that I can take care of myself abroad. I really hope I don't have to go back to do relief teaching again. It's not that I hated the job to the core (Candice, do you beg to differ? Hehe.) and it's not that it was an utter waste of time—okay, only on SOME days—but as someone whose chances of entering the teaching profession are about 5 percent, I would like to try out other things that'll be more relevant to what I want to do next time.

Speaking of relief teaching, I was reading my ex-colleague's blog where she shares her experiences and thoughts about being a teacher. She mentioned something about striving to be 'consistent in her respect for (her) students', which I've found to be extremely difficult. I mean, I've never scolded any student without explaining to him or her why I did that, 'cos I think it's really important to make it clear that I'm not picking on them for no apparent reason; I regard them with the respect they deserve as teenagers and I've always tried my very best to make sure I don't embarrass or humiliate them in front of their peers. It's evident that a little respect goes a long way, but sometimes enough is enough. There have been occasions when I felt taken advantage of, and it's hard to not falter in your resolve to keep seeing the good in them when whatever they've done tells you that they don't deserve it.

"Being a teacher is not easy." I'm saying this and feeling it with all my heart. The shortage of teachers in Singapore has resulted in the introduction of more set of perks, bonuses and flexible schemes like Contract Teaching to draw more people to the profession. "Profession" makes it sound like any Tom, Dick or Harry can be a teacher with adequate training. It is therefore unsurprising that the teaching profession has become diluted with (i) people who turn to teaching as a last resort 'cos they couldn't find other jobs, (ii) people who had no choice but to go to NIE due to poor A-level results and really wanted a university degree that's not from a private U and (iii) people who just see teaching as a job that will bring in the bacon. If this is the case, how is it possible for jadedness to not set in? Why do you think there are so many teachers who couldn't care less? I'm not trying to mock, insult or take the moral high-ground here, just stating some observed facts. To expect somebody who has the perfect balance of ability (i.e. has been trained), heart and soul is probably idealism at work, but I have tremendous admiration for those who try and keep on trying. That's why I think Allyson (said colleague) is amazing. We could do with more teachers like her.