Something that made me smile today:
Little sec 1 boys ambushing me after school today as I waited for the Family Taxi to pick me up after work. 3 of them wriggled onto the bench next to me, and we sat like this in the middle of the foyer:
That's how small they are! One of them actually turned to me and said, "Is this the last time I'm seeing you?" with this really serious expression on his face, and I just
COULDN'T bring myself to laugh. I tried telling them to go home and play computer games but they actually wanted to wait with me...so sweet huh. Then they started scolding the sec 3s who walked past and waved at me, and I decided to wait for Mum outside the school instead.
Anyway, it was a pretty exhausting day for me. Classes with the sec 3s were okay, with minimal disruptions. However,as usual the sec 1s were full of surprises. Example of conversation that made me do a double-take:
chubby sec 1 boy: Teacher, u pretty la.
Me: get to class.
chubby sec 1 boy: KISS KISS? And he actually ANGLES HIS CHEEK towards me. -insert WTH-esque expression of your choice-
It was Attack of the Monkey Boys -the Sequel for the last 3 periods (THREE PERIODS OF MATHS. Poor things.). I chased 4 naughty boys up and down the stairs while my senior co-teacher shepherded the rest of the class to the foyer in a desperate attempt to keep them from becoming restless. Being the relief teacher, such things are obviously left to me. So anyway, I couldn't catch them in the end, and the buggers were caught by their discipline master. No prizes for guessing what happens next. I was with my co-teacher when she spoke to one of the HODs (the PE-CCA guy)and let me tell you, you do not want to piss these people off. The way the staff at _______ secondary dish out punishment/detention with the swiftness and stealth of trained military personnel is scary.
Co-teacher: We have been onto these 4 students for a long time. They are always causing trouble in class.
PE HOD guy: Yes, I already spoke to Mr N (the DM). These 4, we're dealing with them on another level. We will keep building up records of all their offenses until we can CANE them.
And at that precise moment he said that, all the bunny rabbits died, locusts blocked out the sun and I felt really, really, sorry for those 4.
Yeowch.
Labels: Relief teaching
I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should*
No work for me today, so it's just the usual rendezvous with my computer. The skies are grey and it's been looking like it's gonna rain since 3 hours ago...that sort of annoying weather that basically pisses me off. Maybe it's the flu, maybe it's PMS, because I've been feeling rather down since I woke up this morning. No, seriously, I haven't joined the emo tribe (cues dramatic eyeball-rolling; to this generation's 'emo kids': PUT A SOCK IN IT.), and this isn't one of those 'nobody loves me, I feel so lost and alone...don't know why I'm not in a good mood -pout-' laments (more eyeball acrobatics..). I'm just sick of all this waiting for Uni application results thing, sick of being ill, sick of feeling like I've been kicked into an open sea without a life buoy. I hate feeling like this, because I know my priorities (YES I DO) and I'm aware that if this is the kind of attitude I'm going to have, I am so, so screwed for next few years.
Aaaaaaaaaargh!
*
I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it*
Spoke to Marc online for awhile, regarding some new revelations I've had. Apparently I'm now in 100 percent "Guy Mode", haha! Well, I guess that's the proper term to describe emotional irresponsibility and reckless behaviour. Hur. Well, much better than putting in so much and getting nothing but disappointed in the end --"it's not what you get in return that matters"? I'm not THAT altruistic hun, so sue me.
I hate this nonsense.
Bleughh.
(continued fromn previous post)
My next 2 classes (another sec one history class and a sec three CH class) were relatively well-behaved and respectful, so I was glad to take a breather after the exhausting first four periods. The last lesson of the day was Character Development with a sec 3 Normal Tech class, and I had zero lesson materials to fall back on. Nevertheless I went into class five minutes earlier and ended up waiting for another ten minutes before the first few students staggered in lazily. Upon seeing that I was a RT, alot of them stood up, 'Cher, need to go toilet.'. With their bags? Get real. Honestly, do they think that RTs are morons or what...so I happily made them leave their bags in class and deployed them to the loo one by one. HAH. 100 points to Pearlyn for keeping her guard up!
I gave them 2 options: (A) We talk about perseverance and exam preparation (as recommended by Ms Z) or (B) They do their own work quietly. No prizes for guessing which one they picked...but it was indeed a culture shock for me when I realised that during the 25-minute lesson, not a single student took out any work or did any revision; even the quietest girls merely sat in their groups and gabbed away! In DHS students would do their work without the teacher asking, and even when they were not supposed to be doing work some people would actually do it under their desks. Oh well, it's not a very fair comparison anyway. The class was fine, apart from a crew of cheeky boys who asked for my msn/friendster/handphone number/age, and some of them actually asked if I wanted to go steady. HAHAHAHAHA! I just looked at them with my most exasperated-don't-even-think-about-it-piss-off-do-your-work expression and said, 'I'm older than you, everything else is none of your business.' It pretty much took care of everything, but still didn't stop these particular 2 boys from repeatedly asking for a toilet pass to be excused to the gents. Those were the 2 boys who started the whole, 'eh cher u how old ah, eh cher u got boyfriend? cher I'm 18' crap which made the others start too. So I let them go the first time and they took 10 minutes to come back. And when I asked them for the past, Burly Dude #1 goes, "oh shit! Left in the toilet! CHer we must go and get it back!" This guy made Keanu Reeves' acting look Oscar-worthy. By the time the dymanic duo returned 5 minutes later I was ready to bare my fangs at them and claw their eyes out,
after stapling their mouths shut without anaesthetic.
Slowly.THe bell rang at 1.30 pm and released them all from their misery. I was happily packing my bags when Burly Dudes corner me at the teachers' desk.
"CHer, so how old are you. I'm 18. -crooked grin-"
WTF.
Me: Older than you la! Eh, class has ended! Go and have fun!
"19? 20? 21?"
Me: -grabbing my bags and heading out as fast as my 2-inch wedges could carry me- Aiya! Enjoy your lunch!
And that was pretty much everything that happened on Thursday. The students at _________ secondary are a misunderstood bunch..in fact, the atmosphere there is so much more friendly than schools like CCHSM and DHS. Especially DHS. Everywhere I go I get smiles and greetings from students..some of them whose classes I didn't go to. I observed them as I was sitting outside the HOD room waiting for students to hand in their assignments...the genuine camaraderie and friendship between them was evident, and the sincerity with which they treated each other was a far cry from the guardedness that was a characteristic of many of my DHS classmates. Monkey Boys or not, I'm still looking forward to going back this week. I just wish my cough would recover soon.
croaaaaaak.
Labels: Relief teaching
Happy Easter Sunday to everyone. Doesn't the Visual DNA thing (see the last post) look gorgeous? I got it off Tuan's blog yesterday, and I totally love it. :-) Anyway, I haven't been able to sleep well for the past week, having woken up during the obscenely early hours of the morning, like 0400-ish to 0600-ish. What the hell. I'm jobless! Unemployed! I shouldn't be awake even earlier than working folks...and what's worse is that I can never get back to sleep after that. Ugh. How to recover like this.
Anyway, I
was umemployed anyway. I'm now an official relief teacher with _________ Secondary, and I started work last Thursday. Friends and family had adverse reactions towards this:
Mum: Girl, don't go! The students will bully you until you cry!
Fifth Aunt: Aiyo, you know the students there are VERY bad! They beat up their teachers!
Mei Hui: _________ sec ah! Ying Huan said that the police always got called down to that school...
but the most interesting reply came from Di Hui.
Me: (In mandarin) Eh Ah Di...I'm teaching in _________ sec.
Di Hui: ... _________ sec ah. Ahahaha. Haaaaa __________ sec.
Me: What!
Di Hui: ah....at least u didn't get _ _ _ _ _ _ sec la. _________ sec...haaa..
Okaaaay, point taken.
So I got a call on Thurs from the General Office, ate breakfast and got dressed in record time before heading down in the Family Taxi. After the necessary paperwork was completed and the office clerk handed me a school map and my timetable for the day, I went for my first class: sec 1 History. I walked in, and the entire class erupted with cheers-- a very common reaction at the sight of a relief teacher entering, as I would learn later. Such a comforting thought, really, when you're a sick teacher sneezing your nose off at home and your chest threatens to burst with every cough...and all the little buggers can say is "YYYYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"...Some people may say, "Oh, but that's so fierce! What if I scare the little darlings?" and I say, "[insert name of animal faeces]" remember that you are outnumbered 40 to 1 in a classroom, and that if they were to suddenly realise that they could all scream, shout or run out of the class and you wouldn't be able to stop them all, you are so screwed.
If you were outnumbered 40 to 1 by a gang of ferocious hounds, would you go, "Oh lookit the cute little doggies!" and try to pet them? Same concept....""
from http://miseducators.blogspot.com/2005/07/tips-for-first-time-relief-teachers.html
Keeping this in mind, I set out to restore order at once. "CLAAAASSSSS! KEEP QUIET!" I screamed, and gave then The Glare. For those of you familiar with The Glare, you would know what I'm talking about.-evil smirk- Anyway they quietened down sufficiently for me to explain that their teacher was on MC -cue more cheers- and assigned them a surprise test that day.
"CHERRRRR DON'T WANT LAAAAAAH!!! WE NEEEEEVERRRRR STAAAAAAAAADYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" I repeatedly emphasised that since their teacher didn't tell them to study for it, obviously they weren't expected to know EVERYTHING. Sheeesh..I would learn later that this kind of 'kiasu' attitude is only prevalent amongst the sec one students, and by the time they get to sec three no one gives a flying shit. Anyway most of them were well-behaved and bravely battled the gorgons of the crossword puzzle, until...
"TEACHERRRR!!! SOMEBODY USING TEXTBOOK!" I confronted the accused, who was by then trying to act nonchalant about it. After a series of this-is-a-test-so-looking-at-your-text-would-defeat-it's purpose-esque warnings, I let him off. Then came the second complaint about the same thing. I walked over again to see not one, but TWO little buggers hunched over the textbook, sniggering and looking really pleased with their own audacity.
"Boys, I already warned you! You cannot refer to your textbook! All your other friends are doing the test on their own! Are you deliberately going against your teacher?"
Monkey Boy #1: "Later we fail how! You tell teacher I scared ah!" And he stuck out his scrawny little chin and flared his nostrils while his evil, beady little eyes stared defiantly from behind his expensive Oakley-esque glasses.
WTF?! All this for a stupid test?! And this is a SEC ONE BOY.
No wonder the teaching profession is facing a manpower drain. Teachers are not paid enough to deal with this kind of shit.
Me: "OKAY FINE! Since you guys are obviously not cooperating, I'm CONFISCATING YOUR BOOK."
Monkey Boy #2: "HUHHHH CHERRR DON'T TAKE MY BOOK LAH!!!" -I reach for the book-
Money Boys: "WAH LAO CHERRR!" and would you believe it, Monkey Boy #2 actually grabs the book in my hand and attempts to snatch the darn thing from me. Before I continue to narrate this drama, I would like to pause here and mention that while all this nonsense was going on, the rest of the class was doing their work quietly and peacefully. Such angels they were. So anyway, with my pride and respect from the other kids at stake, I couldn't lose to this bugger right? So I uttered the line that I absolutely HATED from all relief teachers when I was a student.
Me:-looking at the name on textbook- "I KNOW YOUR NAME! YOUR NAME IS JASON! OKAY IF YOU DON'T LET GO I WILL REPORT YOU TO THE DM!" Monkey Boy #2 looks defeated and lets go while Monkey Boy #1 has the common sense to shut up. This DM must be SOME figure, man. Dingdingding, Pearlyn - 1 point + bonus 100000000 for using secret weapon, Monkey Boy Patrol - zero. Whoo.
***
Next class was a sec three combined humanities History lesson, which I was SO not looking forward to. Especially after this nice teacher named Khairul told me, "If you are a lady teacher in
that class, you better know how to protect yourself."
Ooookay.
Sooooo.
The noise hit me like a tsunami when I was three classrooms away. The usual chorus of cheers at the sight of a relief teacher was followed by waves of loud laughter and chitterchatter from different parts of the classroom. I was given no lesson plan, except for a stack of emergency vocabulary exercises given to me by the nice lady in the office. Like seriously, do they actually think that a bunch of rowdy sec three students would be settled down by a crummy vocab worksheet-- the same thing assigned to sec ONES when there's no lesson plan provided as well??? Needless to say, my shouting didn't work, The Glare didn't work, half the boys in class looked like they could pound me to dust the second I said, 'Please keep your handphone.' As I quietly despaired while trying to ally myself with them (read: 'listen guys, you just need to be quiet for the next 2 periods...'), Ms Z the Head of the Humanities Department walks in and it was one of those 'YES, THERE
IS A GOD!' moments for me. Ms Z walked in, shouted "QUIEEET" and peace was restored. She smiles at me and
sweetly tells the class that we would BOTH be teaching them, and the look on some of their faces was PRICELESS, I tell you. She assigned them this lengthy History essay and NOT A SINGLE person dared to breathe in disagreement. Wow. Apparently, she always accompanies new relief teachers to that particular class.When she turned to me, smiled and said, "Don't worry, I'm here' I just wanted to hug her.
