My first venture into online shopping was rewarded with this:


Isn't it pretty? :) I do love my bling so.

The month has been punctuated with moments of elation, frustration, lethargy and emanicipation. It all started with a smile. With dimples, no less.

8 years. I guess the gap is wider beyond my wildest imagination. On Monday, I asked a student of mine about her crush on a certain young male relief teacher, "He's twenty-one! And what are you, fourteen? Thirteen - not even fourteen!?" The girl just looked at me with a very solemn expression, and said, "Cher. Age is not an issue." Part of me wanted to laugh but for the other part of me was caught with her foot in her mouth, so I just smiled and nodded.

Never loud and obnoxious, always shy...always so intriguing. It's funny how we sometimes shun the flamboyant and conspicuous things, and find ourselves inexplicably drawn to the subtle. I never said anything for the next couple of weeks, brushing it aside as something foolish and whimsical. It never went away, but nestled quietly somewhere deep and hidden. And probably grew.

Lookist? Hah, I never said I wasn't superficial...but there was a little something else that was special. Because of that first smile... I find myself wondering whether things would have turned out differently if I wasn't truthful about a certain double-digit thing. 8 years - not much in terms of age, but a massive disparity in priorities and lifestyle.

The inevitable sadness came today. The friendly banter, the concern, the "you're still young" chiding...nothing but fond memories now. Have you ever felt like crying over something, yet you hold back 'cos you feel so bloody ridiculous and absurd?

I don't know why it feels like such a big loss to me. 'Loss' in the broadest sense of the word, of course. You can't lose what you never had - such an apt cliche.

All I know is that I will miss everything.

And to think it all started with a smile.

Labels: Frivolity