sCrutiny

Adverse or Averse?

2010-01-13T16:15:00.001+08:00

(Taken from http://www.dailywritingtips.com/averse-adverse/)

It is easy to confuse adverse and averse but their meanings are totally different.

Adverse means unfavorable, contrary or hostile, and can never be applied to humans. You often hear it used in the term ‘adverse weather conditions’, a phrase which is best avoided in favor of ‘bad weather’.

Averse means unwilling or disinclined or loath and is always followed by the preposition ‘to’. It applies to a person and is used like this: ‘He was averse to discussing the conference’. Of course, it would be just as easy to say. ‘He didn’t want to discuss the conference’.

Overuse of both averse and adverse is likely to sound pompous. It’s always better to keep it simple.

I will remember that! :)

2009-12-24T19:10:00.003+08:00

Dear Boy,

You were all for being friends, really close buddies. But I wasn't ready. Duh.

Now that all has been said and done, we have another shot at friendship. Nice and jolly, we are.

But it's not like that, isn't it? I think part of you is still scared of me. Which makes me feel rather placated, tolerated and insulted, because I really do want things to be pleasantly platonic.

Andre Jordan...again.

2009-12-22T14:30:00.001+08:00

A Fatal Tale

'What are you doing?' asked the cat.

'I'm hiding,' said the partially blind mouse.

'What are you hiding from?' inquired the cat.

'Cats' whispered the mouse.

'But I'm a cat,' purred the cat.

'FUCK !' yelped the mouse.

'It's okay,' smiled the cat, 'I'm not very hungry at the moment'

But it was too late - the partially blind mouse, presuming the worst, had thrown himself from the tree and was now lying dead on the pavement below.

http://www.abeautifulrevolution.com/blog/2006/06/a_fatal_tale.html

2009-12-22T12:41:00.002+08:00

A quick review of my posts dated in the years 2007 to 2009 reveals that I've been updating this blog on an average of 2 times a year. Previously delegated as a lost cause by yours truly, it'll now be revived, and hopefully not die for at least the next half a year. Hey, it's a start.

Exam results were released at 11 a.m. today. My original plan was to wake up around that time - not difficult, courtesy of jetlag - but I was rudely awakened by shrill female voices at 9.57. At first, I thought it was my Mum screaming at someone (haha...) but it actually came from two women arguing under the void deck, and was audible despite my closed windows, thick, quasi-sound-proof curtains and 2 layers of blankets over my head. And you thought most people would know better by the time they reach the big 4-0. Grrr. My grades were pretty much expected, even the C+ I got for New Media Research Methods. Now THAT was a lost cause. Maintained my CAP and the double major, but a guaranteed, or at least higher chance of getting my second upper, still remains a prayer and tonnes of hard work away.

Last night, I spent an hour trying to cry under the covers. It sucks when you're missing someone and feeling so profoundly empty and stupid at the same time, but can't let it out of your system. When the tears finally came, they didn't me feel better. So I consoled myself by eating a muffin.

1 more day to Pakistan! At this time tomorrow, we'll be heading to the airport with boxed provisions for my dad and a suitcase full of trepidation and fear (That's just me. And there're also the most unflattering, boring outfits that I'll never be caught dead in on local soil, but let's not talk about that because it's only going to depress me further). My biggest regret is that I won't be bringing my trusty Olympus E-520 along, although there are definitely some kickasssss photo-opps. It's part of the whole 'shut-up-and-try-to-blend-in-'cos-that's-already-hard-enough-when-you're-the-only-Chinese-person-within-the-the-next-ten-metres' strategy that we try to adopt over there. Although it's not my first trip, I'm still unsettled by the whole prospect. Then again, the smallest things make me antsy; just the thought of the random power shut-downs and a shower that trickles like the wee of a newborn baby is enough to make me cringe. On the bright side, I know I'll return to Singapore brimming with enough gratitude and appreciation to make me wet my pants. Que sera, sera, etc.

2008-12-29T11:16:00.001+08:00

ARGH.

Feelingfatfeelingfatfeelingfatfeelingfatfeelingfat.

Loooloooloooo

2008-12-24T10:13:00.002+08:00

Exam results are out and as much as I'm not particularly thrilled with my results, I guess I'm pretty lucky compared to others. The double major's for keeps, at the very least.

It's Christmas Eve! Karin surprised me with a cute little gingerbread woman cookie during yesterday's Radiopulze Exco meeting. 'Twas sweet indeed, 'twas. Haha...and yes, despite all the huffy proclamations of not wanting to take up anymore leadership positions after all the hecticness of TJC SC, you've caught with my foot in my mouth. Ah well. Cue balancing act for the next two semesters.

The holidays are almost over, but all I've been doing so far besides watching movies and being a downright slob, boohoohoo, is to satiate the demands of my empty consumerist soul with LOTS of shopping. I know, I know, save money, be frugal, blah blah blah but still. At least I stopped online shopping!

What?

Sleep-deprived no more!

2008-12-06T15:01:00.002+08:00

Apparently, a large percentage of youths in Singapore prefer using computer-mediated communication to apologise, resolve conflicts and settle disagreements. I used to scoff at these people when I first read my Intercultural Communication readings, but it seems that I'm one of them now. Oh well.

I had my last paper yesterday. Not too peachy, but I reckon I won't do too badly. Fingers crossed, fingers crossed! Melv and I caught 'Bolt' at Vivo City after that. To anybody who hasn't seen it, please do! It's a good way to unwind and de-stress after the exams. I couldn't stop laughing at the fat hamster - that alone is already a good reason for you to watch the movie.

SEE!!!

I've got my feet planted firmly on the ground. Yeees, siree.

2008-11-18T14:28:00.002+08:00

As I was on my way to school today, I chanced upon a stack of 'Thomas the Tank Engine' VCDs discarded next to the bin at my void deck. Silently, I mourned the loss of someone's childhood.

Mozerella Firefox!

2008-11-13T21:09:00.001+08:00

I am so stuffed with vegetable curry that I have trouble moving. It's actually time for me to resume studying for Phonetics and Phonology now, but I'm too busy Facebook-ing. Tralala.

No shit!

2008-11-12T18:26:00.002+08:00

Suspend your disbelief, folks! Pearlyn Ong has decided that she will learn to drive after her finals for this semester are over. Pearlyn Ong, who can get lost in Orchard Road. Yeaaap. Contrary to popular belief *rolls eyes*, I AM able to see over the steering wheel. Zip-a-dee-doo-dah-zip-a-dee-day.

Time is money and money is time.

2008-11-11T20:37:00.003+08:00

Whoever said that probably wasn't talking about cabs, but I think it's very applicable to those who are all too familiar (read: lazy) with taxis in Singapore. To save time, you pay more money so that you can get to your destination faster. If you want to save money, be prepared to spend that extra hour on the train or bus – which can be very, VERY unbearable – especially when you have to stand the entire time. After spending a hundred over dollars on cab fares last week, I am feeling the pinch and the big gaping hole in my wallet. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

With a skip and a 'ho' and a 'hey nonny no'! HEY! (I threw in the last word just for hyou. Hyes, hyou!)

Random sentences: I skipped classes today. Ban mian makes me happier. I feel like I've aged tremendously in the space of one day. It doesn't always take monumental events to impact and shape someone's character, although the alterations are often drastic with shocking results. Sometimes, it's the accumulation of little acts and statements that deaden and darken your soul like a treacherous poison. I know this well; I know the little pinpricks of pain as you slowly chisel away at my heart with more spite than mercy. But then, I'll just smooth my hands over the cracks and tell myself it's okay.

People are just different this way.

I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

2008-11-10T20:26:00.001+08:00

I'm finally done with all my projects, presentations and miscellaneous submissions! That leaves me with just one more phonetics test on Friday before I can finally devote all my time to studying for the finals. The past few weeks have been horrible for my mental and physical states, so I took the liberty to shamelessly burn the last weekend watching Season 4 of Family Guy. Now that I'm done drawing up a revision timetable, I really hope I can do well. I need to, and I must.

It seems so hard for me to really smile, be happy and relaxed these days, despite much conscious effort to not let the weariness get the better of me –

Oh gosh! Digression! My laptop just made this funny squeaky robotic sound to notify me about something regarding the 'sticky keys' option. 'Tis an amusement indeed! Hahaha. And yes, it's new to me; my laptop speakers are usually muted or tuned down.

Anyway. Weariness. Gah. Oh a brighter note, my Dad is back from Pakistan and all has been well in the family so far. May peace reign thus in the kingdom, hurhur.

I am me, I have always been me and I will believe in myself. And you.

And whatnots.

2008-10-29T12:50:00.001+08:00

I'm sitting in the Radiopulze studios now, with a hundred percent intention and zero percent of motivation to work on my article for the Media Writing newsletter project. Within ten minutes after I took a single measly sip green tea, I was politely confronted by not one but TWO members of the CIT (Centre for Information Technology, I think.) studios about bringing drinks in. Which is quite laughable, especially in light of the double standards practised by dear ol' Victor, who manages the studios on behalf of CIT. The inflexible nature of some people never ceases to amuse me. Hurhur.

In my field of paper flowers

2008-10-04T20:33:00.005+08:00

For my Singapore Film project, I googled "Singapore Stamps" and found this:
http://sparklette.net/archives/581/louisvuitton.jpg
I wanted to include the picture here, but it doesn't show up when I publish the post.

I'm not much of a luxury goods person but I still think this is pretty cool, except they should have made the flower-like motif an orchid. Although the picture shows that the location is around Wheelock Place, I haven't seen it anywhere. It must have been some temporary young designers' project. Either that or I was just not observant enough. All that aside, there's no better place than Orchard Road to have a LV-monogram inspired mailbox, which would fit right in with the likes of Paragon and Takashimaya.

Yesterday's Phonetics and Phonology test was quite manageable, so I'm hoping that my grades will reflect that. That leaves me with two New Media projects, another Media Writing Assignment, a Singapore Film mid-term and the project for said module. While the prospect of storyboarding and filming for the latter is exciting, it's also stressing me out that we haven't settled many important things yet. I managed to get Chuang May to be our lead actress and I think she's perfect for the role. Fingers crossed, fingers crossed.

Speaking of Singapore Film, the Singapore Film Commission will fund the production costs for the feature films of nine young directors under this thing called the New Feature Fund scheme (full story here). I like the idea of experienced directors mentoring the aspiring filmmakers and I suppose it's a good move to discover more Eric Khoos and Royston Tans in our midst. I really do want to watch 'My Magic', but people have been telling me how disturbingly graphic some of the scenes are. During one of the film lectures, our lecturer told us that many people walked out during the screening at Cannes – or some other film festival; can't remember – because of how grossed out they were. Ah well.

Whilst the Butterflies Dance

2008-10-01T07:23:00.003+08:00

http://www.abeautifulrevolution.com/blog/absurd/index.html

In a Gothic theme park, we sat for a while. Drinking whisky from the bottle, eating jellied-eel from the stream. Tongue tied and hazy, I started to dream. Unimpressed and eccentric, she ate from the stream. Then a butterfly passed, and she let out a gasp, and I could no longer tell, if my dream stood a chance.

In a Gothic theme park, we sat for a while. She watched butterflies dance, whilst I played Russian roulette with my heart. I loaded the gun, wrapped my finger around the trigger, took a deep breath, and left it all to chance. 'Kiss me,' I shouted. Oh how she laughed. Playing Russian roulette with my heart, whilst the butterflies dance.

In a Gothic theme park, we sat for a while. Drinking whisky from the bottle, waiting for my chance. But she has left me now, in this gothic theme park. Wishing we could start afresh, take back all I asked. Nothing ventured nothing gained but oh the pain. Playing Russian roulette with my heart, whilst the butterflies dance.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Check out my new distraction: Andre Jordan. I am mesmerised by the fluid simplicity with which two seemingly uncomplementary images fit together so perfectly in 'Playing Russian roulette with my heart, whilst the butterflies dance'. My heart is now aching in a strange kneading way as I picture this whole Burton-esque scene in my head; it's not difficult to imagine Johnny Depp in all 'Edward Scissorhands' self-deprecation as the male protagonist, despairing as delicate butterfly wings brush his cheeks as a reminder of his fragile, fleeting hope. Ah.

You Give Me Something – James Morrison

2008-09-28T18:47:00.001+08:00

This one's for Lisa. :)

You only stay with me in the morning,

You only hold me when I sleep,

I was meant to tread the water,

But now I've gotten in too deep,

For every piece of me that wants you,

Another piece backs away.

'Cause you give me something,

That makes me scared alright,

This could be nothing,

But I'm willing to give it a try,

Please give me something,

'Cause someday I might know my heart.

You only waited up for hours,

Just to spend a little time alone with me,

And I can say I've never bought you flowers,

I can't work out what they mean,

I never thought that I'd love someone,

That was someone else's dream.

'Cause you give me something,

That makes me scared alright,

This could be nothing,

But I'm willing to give it a try,

Please give me something,

'Cause someday I might call you from my heart.

But it might be a second too late,

And the words that I could never say,

Are gonna come out anyway.

'Cause you give me something,

That makes me scared alright,

This could be nothing,

But I'm willing to give it a try,

Please give me something,

Mmmm

'Cause you give me something,

That makes me scared alright,

This could be nothing,

But I'm willing to give it a try,

Please give me something,

Cause someday I might know my heart.

Know my heart,

Know my,

Know my heart,

Mmmmhmmm

And she’s back.

2008-09-28T15:13:00.002+08:00

I planned to wake up at 7 a.m. (Come on, that's pretty decent!) to finish revising for good ol' Phonetics and Phonology but my body simply refused to cooperate. It's 1 p.m. now and I'm STILL not doing any revision. Perhaps listing down the things I have to accomplish by today will jolt me into Productive Mode, so here goes:

To-do List for Sunday, 28 September 2008:
1. Finish remaining 3 chapters for Sound System of English
2. Re-do tutorials for the above
3. Do up 'Language and History' slides for Inter-cultural Communication project
4. Start on readings for Media Writing reflection

Oh dear, that does seem like alot now, doesn't it?

ANYWAY.

Loolooolooooooooo!

One bloody seventeen p.m.; I spaced out for a whole thirteen minutes, whoopdeedoo. The bulk of my recess week was spent on studying and projects, leaving precious little time for rest and play. My mum always has this moment nearing the end of the holidays when she will start lamenting, "If I had just one more day, I would be contented." This is probably familiar to most people. Although I feel pretty good about actually being quite productive in terms of schoolwork, I still wish there was more time to go out, shop, exercise and read the pile of wonderful books that remain untouched in the corner of my shelf. Books that aren't textbooks or bound pages of readings, thank you very much. There's 'Twilight' by Stephenie Meyer and 'The Shadow of the Wind' by Carlos Ruiz Zafón, borrowed from my cousin Zhuang and Melv respectively, as well as 'Specimen Days' by Michael Cunningham, bought from Cheers at the petrol station (of all places). There's also what's left of 'The English Patient', which I unceremoniously abandoned for 'The Kite Runner'—great read alert! I can't start on them because I KNOW I'll just keep ploughing on and on till I reach the end of the book while neglecting other more pressing things in my life. Bad. Bad, bad Stevie. Baaaaaaaaaad. That's probably the only line I can remember best from Semester 1's 'The Secret Agent'! Haha.

The Student Exchange Programme (SEP) list is out, and I've narrowed down my choices to the University of Copenhagen in Denmark and the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands; both have pretty good courses that are relevant to both my majors and I'm really looking forward to doing the tourist thing with my friends instead of my family, for the very first time—I know, I know. My parents are strict like that. L The Beijing trip in primary 6 does not count as there were so many teachers mothering us anyway. Melv and Jem already have plans to tour certain parts of Europe after our semester in either one of those places, but I'm not too sure about that. Besides the fact that my parents will probably object, there's also the nagging issue about money. I guess I'll have to find work during the holidays to settle at least part of that problem and like Melv said, I have one whole year to convince my parents that I can take care of myself abroad. I really hope I don't have to go back to do relief teaching again. It's not that I hated the job to the core (Candice, do you beg to differ? Hehe.) and it's not that it was an utter waste of time—okay, only on SOME days—but as someone whose chances of entering the teaching profession are about 5 percent, I would like to try out other things that'll be more relevant to what I want to do next time.

Speaking of relief teaching, I was reading my ex-colleague's blog where she shares her experiences and thoughts about being a teacher. She mentioned something about striving to be 'consistent in her respect for (her) students', which I've found to be extremely difficult. I mean, I've never scolded any student without explaining to him or her why I did that, 'cos I think it's really important to make it clear that I'm not picking on them for no apparent reason; I regard them with the respect they deserve as teenagers and I've always tried my very best to make sure I don't embarrass or humiliate them in front of their peers. It's evident that a little respect goes a long way, but sometimes enough is enough. There have been occasions when I felt taken advantage of, and it's hard to not falter in your resolve to keep seeing the good in them when whatever they've done tells you that they don't deserve it.

"Being a teacher is not easy." I'm saying this and feeling it with all my heart. The shortage of teachers in Singapore has resulted in the introduction of more set of perks, bonuses and flexible schemes like Contract Teaching to draw more people to the profession. "Profession" makes it sound like any Tom, Dick or Harry can be a teacher with adequate training. It is therefore unsurprising that the teaching profession has become diluted with (i) people who turn to teaching as a last resort 'cos they couldn't find other jobs, (ii) people who had no choice but to go to NIE due to poor A-level results and really wanted a university degree that's not from a private U and (iii) people who just see teaching as a job that will bring in the bacon. If this is the case, how is it possible for jadedness to not set in? Why do you think there are so many teachers who couldn't care less? I'm not trying to mock, insult or take the moral high-ground here, just stating some observed facts. To expect somebody who has the perfect balance of ability (i.e. has been trained), heart and soul is probably idealism at work, but I have tremendous admiration for those who try and keep on trying. That's why I think Allyson (said colleague) is amazing. We could do with more teachers like her.

2008-09-27T08:29:00.002+08:00

'Tis a revived blog! A revived blog!

2008-02-22T23:03:00.001+08:00

but we are hiding in a safer place.

Pearlyn is...

2008-02-21T06:59:00.002+08:00

"A detached observer of the self's current state of semi-paralysis by pointlessenvy, instantregret and a mild degree of self-deprecation. "

This is what you get for snooping, darling.

You know, after the emotions are taken out, this is actually quite laughable.

Happy Belated Valentine’s

2008-02-16T22:49:00.003+08:00

My brain is currently in 'Weekend Warrior' mode, fuelled by caffeine and gummy bears. School work is becoming slightly more manageable, apart from that horrid Historical English module and there's still dear ol' Crusoe and Pamela left for Lit, but otherwise I think I've caught up with the pace of my other modules. Project season is a bitch, as usual. But that, I can handle. On the plus side, my newfound emotional stability is sweet, sweet relief after a particularly rough patch. I had the best sleep in weeks on Thursday night –quality sleep, mind you – I had intended to start doing secondary research for my 'Principles of Communication Management' project, but my bed was too soft and comfortable to resist. Oh well. Oh wellsss. Having had one night of good rest in a week, with the help of a few (A FEW.) cups of coffee, I've been rather productive in terms of getting work done! I'm feeling pretty indestructible at the moment, actually. Ha ha (I'm imagining Denise's incredulous little laugh as I type this.)

I went back to Bedok today for the first time since TJ and I felt that nostalgia thing again. Found myself talking about old hang-outs like BK and Princess Cinema, thinking about people and the things they said there. Bittersweet, I'd say, but more sweet. It's just the way some people stick with you even after they've left you physically, how their mannerisms, words and actions can be played and re-played in your head like a tape. There's this part of my heart that isn't mine anymore because it's been divided into little fragments and given to those whose lives have touched mine, idiosyncrasies and all.

Ooh, a proper blog entry. Finally. (:

Reflecting on how I've dealt with recent events has made me realise that I've indeed changed a great deal over the past year. Less idealism, a lot more pragmatism; less fretting, more action. I see all these as positive changes because they allow me to deal with tough stuff in a calmer and more rational manner, and I've been priding myself on that all this while. And yet, at the same time, I now see that I must drop the Superwoman thing sometimes, 'cos there are instances when others aren't really asking for solutions; they just need a listening ear and a source of comfort. I suck at consoling, I really do. But I promise I'll try to be more sensitive. Promise.

I need chocolate. Like, now.

Haven't we all had instances when we spent a long time explaining something to someone, only to have him or her not comprehend a thing at all? Or, just think about the last time you wished that a particular person would just shut up because although he was talking a lot, it just seemed like utter nonsense to you.

Then, think about how somebody turned your world around with a few simple words, caused your heart to ache from the deepest crevices with just a gaze, or weaved you a whole tapestry of emotions in a brief moment of silence.

Amazing, isn't it? (:

I've always envied people with smiling eyes.

CNY

2008-02-10T15:03:00.001+08:00

Phonology is that branch of linguistics which studies the sound system of languages. The sound system involves

the actual pronunciation of words, which can be broken up into the smallest units of pronunciation, known as a segment or a phoneme. ( The words pat, chat and fat have different phonemes at the beginning, and so phonemes contrast with each other to produce different words.)
prosody – pitch, loudness, tempo and rhythm – the 'music' of speech. (Other terms used are non-segmental phonology or supra-segmental phonology.)

Oh, how I adore EL2111: Historical Variation in English.

Sunday -- the Day of Last-minute Work. I can practically hear my lecture slides calling my name! Nooooooo.

I'm thinking about chocolate. Warm, melted and thick. Dark. Sinful, yet oh-so-tempting. Temptation. Tempt, tempter, tempted.

Mmmmhmm. Happy Chinese New Year, everyone. Bring on the ang pows and pineapple tarts!

I think it was the chocolate that did it.

Nooo.

2008-01-27T14:32:00.001+08:00

It's hard to be true to yourself in a world full of people wearing two (or more) faces, but it's even harder to be true to yourself in your own mental landscape; that internal hall of mirrors we must each confront in our solitary moments. To face the grotesque distortions that frighten us, distortions of ourselves that we cannot even recognise sometimes...she has been trying to keep those at bay and her resolve is faltering, but she nevertheless tries. "We'll both be true to ourselves this year." A resolution for 2008; she keeps her half of the promise that means so, so much.

She has always been herself, never putting on a facade to deceive him of her true nature: she's very emotional, high-strung, not lady-like and speaks a combination of good standard English, a smattering of Chinese and some choice Hokkien phrases. Madness? A bit of that. But ultimately a friend, just wanting to listen and hopefully, advise. A house on fire, and then pop, sizzle and fizzle.

Boom.

Last night, she felt the coldness of a blade.

Wake me up when it's over

Wake me up when it's done

When he's gone away and taken everything

Wake me up

Wake me up when the skies are clearing

When the water is still

Cause I will not watch the ships sail away so

Please say you will

If it were any other day

This wouldn't get the best of me

But today I'm not so strong

So lay me down with a sad song

And when it stops then you know I've been

Gone too long

But don't shake me awake

Don't bend me or I will break

Come find me somewhere between my dreams

With the sun on my face

I will still feel it later on

But for now I'd rather be asleep

Only for today, Pearlyn. Only for today, please.

A Heart-shaped Kite

2008-01-22T22:16:00.001+08:00

The dam burst, and the floods came.

Why is this happening to us?

Don't force me, please.

Same difference.

2007-12-08T20:33:00.004+08:00

She thought of looking out of the windows of all those trains and buses, looking at the feet and backs of all those -people. Nothing was ever different. They were all the same. All of the words and all of the smiles, every tear and every gag just something to do. - Sula, Toni Morrison

The exams have ended, and unfortunately, my feelings of post-exam jubilation have died down significantly as well. The thought of that screwed up Lit essay is such a wet blanket on my spirits. Ugh. I suppose there's no point thinking about it. Yeah, but it's not as if NOT thinking about it is going to prevent me from flunking the paper. "Pearlyn fails Lit." Oh, the shock and horror.

Anyway. Post-exam shopping with Angela at Far East Plaza was fruitful, with both of us tearing through the shops like madwomen deprived of ten years of retail therapy. Cindyong and I are supposed to start exercising and tanning this week, but the heavy rains have ruined our rendezvous with the sun. Our first gym session showed both of us how unfit we had become after months without proper exercise—imagine me huffing and puffing after jogging for a mere ten minutes on the treadmill while all the JC athletes were running like Duracell Bunnies on steroids next to me! It looks like it'll take weeks to regain some semblance of the stamina I once possessed during a particularly obsessive period of intensive running, gymming and swimming.

Table-turning is a fine art, indeed. Such deep understanding, such shrewd manipulation of the female psyche. Hurhur.

To all the bastards fond of this lovely little manoeuvre: be careful, 'cos we might just use it on you too.

Torn.

2007-11-29T18:53:00.001+08:00

With the box on her lap, she took out the first letter and opened it. She allowed her eyes to skim over, 'Dear Lyn', before tearing the letter into halves. Quarters. Eighths. Paper confetti.

She tore and tore, until there was no more left.

2007-11-29T17:57:00.001+08:00

Shoot the green-eyed monster! Bonus points if you hit her right between her huge freaky eyes!

ARGH.

Stop it, Pearlyn. Stop probing.

Bitter biter. Biter Bitter.

WTF.

2007-11-29T16:26:00.001+08:00

I am ANNOYED!

If I possessed enough html know-how to make that last word glow red, shake violently before bursting into flames, I would do it.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm trembling, and my palms are icy cold.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Maybe, just maaaaybe, I'll let you know when I run out of reminders. Let's see when....oh wait. Oh! Oh! OH! WAIT! Darrmdaaaardummdummdumm....

I ALREADY HAVE MORE THAN I NEED, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Now what are the odds on that?

Gee.

2007-11-27T16:37:00.000+08:00

Oh my goodness!

COOLEST COMPUTER TOY EVER! - Click here for more blooper videos

Rose hips and tea leaves

2007-11-18T11:56:00.001+08:00

I'm sipping a mug of green tea right now. Sipping and sipping like a little old lady. All I need is my green shawl (which apparently, resembles a mouldy spinach leaf, according to Carnivore Friend), ten cats and lace doilies for my furniture. Gave Advances Japanese a miss yesterday 'cos I was totally pooped after my GEM1008 test...crappy paper, shadn't elaborate. Anyway, exam season had arrived and stress is in the air. Waking up at unearthly hours to study has taken its toll on my body, as seen from my puffy face and pallid complexion. Mummy was worried, so she got me to accompany her to the Chinese medicinal hall yesterday and asked the lady boss whether she had any appropriate remedy of twigs and leaves. The lady recommended rose hip tea, which contains lots of good stuff that can aid the liver in detoxifying the body. The little rose buds smell wonderful and are rather pretty to look at, so it's quite nice and I won't mind drinking it everyday.

Yesterday, I only had ONE teensy weensy teacup of coffee! I'm actually trying to cut down on my caffeine intake, after realising that my dependency on it is bordering on addiction. So do me a favour, and keep reminding me that I can only drink one cup a day. (:

Sip, sip, sip. This is really therapeutic. I'm in some sort of semi-Zen mode right now. All together now: OoouuuuuuuuuuuummmMMmMMmmmMmmmmmmm.

And off I go, back to the Bedford Glossary of Critical and Literary Terms.

2007-11-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

Goodness gracious, Cindyong!

Poison.

2007-11-15T22:27:00.001+08:00

He haunts her in so many ways that he shouldn't. Memories cannot be erased, like a patchwork of scars that remain after old wounds heal. Sometimes, she finds herself tracing those scars with her finger, and it's as if he's carving into her skin all over again. She screams as the layers are broken. Screams that echo inside her head, screams that no one can hear.

Boy loves Girl who loves boy. Loved.

Silly girl, what did she know about Love?

Not much, but I guess she did so with all her heart.

Heartless Boy. Prosthetic Boy. Ignorant Boy.

Hard-hearted Girl who screams and screams.

Hmm.

2007-11-13T05:57:00.001+08:00

So many things that I usually won't be able to accept...

And yet.

2007-11-12T19:13:00.000+08:00

Quote of the Day

Marcus (Wang), Angela and I were having lunch at the Deck today and we got to the topic of Wu Zun, most popular member of Taiwanese prettyboyband Farenheit.

Marcus: "I've concluded that (Wu Zun) must be a test tube baby."

Me: "Why? 'Cos he has the perfect set of genes, is it?"

Marcus: "YES!"

O_o

Anyway, here's a picture of said eyecandy. Too pretty for my liking, though.

I wish

2007-11-11T11:39:00.001+08:00

I Wish

I wish,

I could somehow reach over

From where I am,

And smooth out your furrowed brow.

Puffs will cloud your mind

And drink can numb you now,

But Black and White are patient;

Linger around, they shall.

I wish,

(as many do)

I could deter the tedious but stealthy hands of Time;

So I can do more than just watch

The Chariot whisk away those I love,

But Mortality is a candle in the wind;

It burns brightly, but flickers

—ours too.

I wish,

You could walk the shore of life

And not be frightened,

For She will be in every corner turned.

Smiles for your triumphs,

Concern when you fall,

Heartaches at your anguish

—even now.

I wish,

My friend,

I wish.

2007-11-04T11:48:00.001+08:00

What do you get when you put two sleep-deprived, emotionally unstable females together?

Warning: They have less than 8 hours of sleep, combined.

2007-11-03T11:34:00.001+08:00

Inertia level has reached an all-time high. I've only typed two lines so far and Cindy hasn't even started on her Philosophy essay. I'm three-quarters through my first Americano, and I think I'll be needing another one later. Cindy's starting to freak me out with her whimpering and random bouts of nervous laughter. I think that's what Philo does to you. Giving her coffee was probably not such a good thing after all. Hohoho.

Good Morning, Baltimoreeeeeeeeeee!

2007-11-03T10:50:00.001+08:00

Good Morning, Baltimoreeeeeeeeeee!

I'm currently at Starbucks waiting for Miss Cindy Ong, craaaaaaaving for an Americano. I hope to finish my part for that detestable CNM project by 2p.m. and proceed to study a bit of Japanese before 4.30p.m. lesson. Good luck to people who're rushing to complete their projects or essays before they're due this coming Monday...it's pure madness, I tell you. Sheesh.

Untitled.

2007-11-03T03:05:00.000+08:00

Untitled.

A shadow of the past...

Or not?

Illusions...

Maybe?

Look, past the Face,

The Neck—

That gentle swell beckoning. Quivering.

Dainty fingers tracing—

Pressing. Squeezing. Suffocating.

Nails

Digging into velvet.

The wounds are fresh.

2007-11-02T11:15:00.000+08:00

Mummy just told me that Damien, my 8 month-old baby nephew, may be suffering from kidney problems and will have to go to the hospital for various tests in order to determine the exact nature of his condition. I only have to imagine all those syringe, needles and tubes going near that tiny little body, to feel an unpleasant cold sensation prickling the walls of my stomach and a sudden horrible dryness in my mouth. I'm now reading everything I can find online about childhood kidney problems with my auntly instincts fully kicked into gear. I think the auntly instinct is giving me some semblance of an understanding of the maternal instinct; that fiercely protective streak that mothers possess innately, that enables them to do anything for their children. I spent my growing years in the company of my aunts, it really fascinated me to see what those extraordinary women would do for their families, their kids, their sisters' kids. Hmmm, I suppose it would come to me too, when the time is right. Ahhhhhhh. I know I'm supposed to be doing my CNM project now, but I just can't take my mind off poor little Damien. Sighsighsigh.

Like, totally for sure!

2007-11-02T01:18:00.000+08:00

I'm seated near these two NUS girls, who're talking really loudly about school and their modules and I've realised that the unnecessary "like" girls like to randomly add to their utterances just utterly annoys me. For example, "I take 4 exposure modules: CNM, Japanese Studies, English Language and English Lit. Jap Studies is, like, not what people think it is...I'm not learning the language—that's Jap Language, like, a different module. Jap Studies is, like, culture."

You could be speaking proper English all the way, but using too many redundant "like"s in your speech will make you sound like an airhead. Like, totally!

I think EL1101E (English Language) has made me extremely conscious and anal about this kind of thing. Hurhurhur. I'm always extra moody and grouchy on my way to school. And I always direct my frustrations towards my fellow commuters, which is a very nasty thing to do. I know. But I am -> <- close to telling them to lower their volume by several thousand decibels. Whoopdeedooo. Okay, pearlyn. Resist the urge to be bitchy and catty. You know you're really miffed 'cos you have yet to complete your New Media project. And also 'cos your toenails haven't had a new coat of polish in more than a month, and you caught a woman sitting opposite you in the train staring at the sorry, flaky state of your nail polish. And that dead-looking flower on your big toe. Get over yourself.

Oooh. Somebody's gonna love this one. One of the girls just called our campus radio station 'RADIOPLUS'. Haha! I instantly think of Fruit Plus, that cheap but nice chewy sweet that's oh-so-common during Chinese New Year. They're quite addictive, aren't they? I don't care much for the mint-flavoured ones, though. Queen of Random Nonsense, I am.

There's this mad man in the train compartment that's adjacent to mine, who is having an argument with an invisible person. Random soundbites : "DIE! DIE! You DIE!", "....three thousand! Three thousand Two hundred la! Sure WIN!" I think he probably became like that after losing a lot of money gambling. Hmmm. I think the man's fellow passengers were pretty traumatised by his cries of "DIEDIEDIE!!" They were probably worried that he would turn violent or something. Digression: my mother told me that even if an insane person kills somebody, his sentence would be less severe, compared to a sane person who committed the same crime. Fair or unfair?

Okay, I'm in no mood to continue.

2007-10-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

Green is the colour for fall.

A change of pillowcase, please.

Morning Commuting

2007-10-29T22:23:00.001+08:00

This isn't another rant about Singaporean commuters. Not today, that is. It's my first time blogging on the crowded train, seated comfortably with my laptop and bag expertly balanced on my lap. For some reason, I'm not experiencing any Monday Blues today. My Monday Blues usually stem from a sense of guilt that arises from not making good use of the weekend, but since I spent Saturday morning and the whole of Sunday productively, I'm pretty satisfied with the amount of work I've managed to complete. It's going to be a hectic week ahead, with a consultation session for a position paper, interview with a professor for a project, meetings with the V Bash main and sub-committees, essays, projects and some other things I told myself I would do – swim/gym/run at least 3 times a week (Oh, the infernal weight gain. L ), clean my room, start studying for exams and help Mum with the housework. I feel really bad about not being home most of the time, not spending quality time with her whenever I'm home, getting all defensive and arguing with her over every innocuous little remark when I'm really just pissed off at myself for certain things. I think about how her loving hands have touched the iron that pressed the clothes on my body, about the sandwich she made for me while I was in the shower that so effectively dispels all morning hunger pangs......and I just want to give her a big, fat hug and hold onto her for as long as I can.

2007-10-28T13:13:00.000+08:00

" ......and tell you how you're such a Wondergirl."

On a late, lonely night, someone said this to me in a SMS. It made me smile through the tears that were soaking my pillow.

You know who you are. (:

You're missed.

We'll go to Bavaria, my love.

2007-10-28T01:00:00.000+08:00

We'll go to Bavaria, my love.

Look how I'm forgetting you....
Look how I've forgotten you.
Look at me.

Another crazy week of school has flown by, with me barely keeping up. I'm in the planning committee for V Bash (V for Varsity) 2008, which adds to my list of school-related commitments. Sometimes I wish I wasn't involved in anything at all, just so I can concentrate on my school work. But then again, I know I don't really want that.

Giggle wiggle. Haha, I'm having a Ka Fai moment. Oh, please do come for V Bash! It's open to people who're not from NUS as well. Watch this space for more details!

On a different note, I'm disturbed by JK Rowling's "Dumbledore is gay" revelation. Seriously. Disturbed. I mean, I'm never going to look at any line that goes something like, "Dumbledore gazed at Harry" the same way again. It's like that Chinese proverb about adding legs to a drawing of a snake, which implies an unecessary act that results in negative consequences. The Harry Potter series was such a dream - now people will just keep questioning and questioning. Oh Miss Rowling, what have you done? It's like 'burning your child'. :(

Then again, controversy sustains the attention of the press. Hmmm.

Lit discussion with Melv was superduper productive - I shall aim to finish my John Donne essay tonight. Had a meet up session with Weldie, Maria(I still found it super weird when I had to introduce him as "Zhi Zhan".) and Ozy at Eastpoint Sakae after that. Meihui-san couldn't join us 'cos she overslept, shame on her. ;) Oblivious to the noisy surroundings, our little table seemed to have been transported back into the days when we were crowded around the big table in the TJC Council Room, just chilling and talking about nothing in particular. It felt like there was a temporary force field protecting me from the academic minions of varsity life with them around(Namely, Projects and Assignments.) and I found myself feeling rather emotional when Maria had to leave early for his driving lesson. He's still so calm and decisive, with that air of self-assurance that tells you everything will be alright with him around. And there was Weldonweldieweld and his 'cockanaden' remarks, just being the good listener he is...and laid-back prettyboy Ozy with his quiet charm and genuine down-to-earthiness. People I care about, people who care about me. I know it's only been a year, but gosh, we were so very young then.

Tripping, slipping
Falling, tumbling -
Enough.

'cos your hands are full.

2007-10-25T12:55:00.000+08:00

STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMSTOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP !

2007-10-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

Another one bites the dust.

Once again, Cindy has reminded me that we are approximately 5 weeks away from our exams. November. Oh, joy. 5 weeks before the A-levels, I was hunched over notes and Ten-year Series, working away like a crazed Igor on steroids by 4.30 a.m.. Now, it's 5 weeks before the exams, approximately 2 weeks before a very important (AHEM) project is due and I'm watching video clips of Family Guy on YouTube. Some plan. Eh?

If I were Hedda Gabler I would suffocate Tesman in his sleep for that insufferable 'eh' he puts at the end of every sentence.

We'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?
Maybe.

Waste not,
Those pretty little sighs.

For she will rise -

'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.

The rest remains unwritten.

2007-10-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

Awwwwww.

Such a sweet little angel.

2007-10-19T16:10:00.000+08:00

Stewie's the man.

Enjoy!

Little Stewie - The most popular videos are here

The next one's for my EL1101E project mates.

Family Guy - Rap - The most popular videos are here

2007-10-17T19:56:00.000+08:00

To: Friend

Sigh a pretty little sigh
And keep walking,
Keep walking.

2007-10-14T03:07:00.000+08:00

I want a purple elephant.

Just spotted some typos in one of my previous posts. Unfortunately, proofreading has never been a strong point of mine.

So we finally meet, my dearest bestie. After nearly a year and countless cancelled appointments, we finally had one of our fabulously random conversations. There always seems to be a non-exhaustive list of things to talk about, and always so little time. As usual, you're completely spot-on about so many things.

A pinch of nostalgia, and some regret.
Add a dash of bittersweetness, too.

Sine Curve, Cosine Curve.

Nyahah.

You're so precious, you really are. (:

2007-10-12T22:07:00.000+08:00

An echo of a heartbreak.

I wonder if there's a proper word for that somewhere. Random digression: don't you just get so irritated when you're looking for a word to describe something but can't seem to get it exactly right? There should be a proper word for that as well! It would be pretty handy, especially for people who constantly get writer's block, like yours truly.

A crushing sense of renewed loss, the shattering of peace.
Disobedient hands picking at the edges of the scab covering a healed wound...
Healing, actually.
Bit by bit, until a bead of blood appears.

That burning sensation prickling my eyelids.

Where do I begin?

2007-10-12T13:45:00.000+08:00

Solitude.

Spinning, laughing, dancing to
her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
Is all alone

Lectures, tutorials, projects. PROJECTS! Gahhh. Think back to the time in primary or secondary school, when a project consisted of a single chart with some pictures and blocks of texts. It was so simple that we could just finish it in one entire day!

Come to think of it, everything was much simpler then.

Eyes wide open
Always hoping for the sun
And she'll sing her song to anyone
that comes along

I haven't been able to sleep properly for quite some time. The eyebags are terrible, and someone commented that I could go shopping with them. Sometimes, I dread the moments before I fall asleep...when I think of all the unfinished assignments, readings and upcoming tests (yes, si mugger), and all that emotional fluff-stuff.

Think, Thank, Thunk.

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just fallin' to the ground
Without a sound

A friend who just celebrated her 19th birthday on Tuesday was commenting about how old she felt. 19 is by no means "old", but it definitely wasn't the first time I heard that uttered by someone from my age group. I think "weariness" is the appropriate word here? Products of a system that's all about rush, rush and rush...hmm.

Crooked little smile on her face
Tells a tale of grace
That's all her own

I don't know where I should begin.

Hey, stranger. How do you do.

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just fallin' to the ground
Without a sound

I'm smiling to myself as I think about the 3 silly girls who just want me to be happy.

Hyperpersonal communication!!!! So applicable. -giggles-
Whimsical, schimsical.

Spinning, laughing, dancing to
her favorite song
She's a little girl with nothing wrong
And she's all alone

A little girl with nothing wrong
And she's all alone

More hugs would be nice.

So incoherent, I know.

2007-10-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words how wonderful life is
While you're in the world

Come on, Pearlyn. Stop thinking.

The rest is still unwritten.

2007-09-30T22:12:00.000+08:00

The rest is still unwritten

It's all about her; her self-indulgence, her ego, her greed.

Me me me me me. You're willing too.

The nagging guilt that this has been one hideously unproductive recess week caused me to climb out of bed at 4.30 a.m. with the intention of studying chapters 5 and 6 of 'The Language of Language'. Waking up early wasn't very difficult 'cos I couldn't really sleep anyway, owing to a particularly potent cup expresso ingested on an empty stomach yesterday afternoon while I was out studying with Cindy. The poor girl was positively struggling with her Philosophy essay! It's certainly not an easy subject to study; after seeing Cindy (nearly) tear out her hair over justice, law-abidingness, Cephalus and other whatnots, it's quite unlikely that I'll ever take it as a module in school.

Visited Chloe and Damien (my 8 month-old baby niece and nephew) the day before yesterday. "Cute" does not even BEGIN to describe them. No other baby can frown like Chloe can - she seems to have perfected the look which says, "Uh, excuse me, I'm cute! Hello!! LOOK AT ME. Now. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!" It's really funny to watch her facial expression change when she sees someone pay more attention to her cousin, and everytime she does that she looks just like a grumpy little old lady with a bad case of piles. Damien, on the other hand, is much quieter and doesn't demand for attention. His grandparents taught him to "sayang" other people - which I think is very sweet ( note to self: teach that to future offspring) - by touching his head to theirs. The first time he did it to my uncle, he exerted too much force and both of them ended up with very sore foreheads. Since then, he has learnt to do it very gently -you can actually sense how careful he is as he slowly leans forward, and it's completely aww-inducing. I wish I could have taken pictures but my phone battery went flat, as it always does in situations when a camera could come in handy. It must be taking revenge on me for dropping it so often. Hmph.

Anyway, I think it's virtually impossible for anyone to resist a cute baby, no matter how macho, tough or child-hating they claim to be. My friend Andrew once remarked, "I adore cute babies! If my baby wasn't cute I swear I wouldn't bring him out." (Of course he was kidding.) A baby can break down even the usually composed countenances of adults with just the merest sneeze (after which everyone within a hundred metre radius will rush over to swaddle it in blankets or warm clothing) or tiny little smile.

A picture of the adorable pair 3 months ago:

Chloe's on the left and Damien's on the right. (:

I miss them already.

2007-09-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

Don't wanna end up like pirate bones
While the thought was treasures just a pile of stones
I might have to judge, rather then be lying alone
Just a pile of pirate bones

I'm three quarters into my recess week, yet I've accomplished precious little with regards to revision and assignments. The stress is creeping in as I type, and the little voices in my head are screaming the names of unaccomplished tasks ("Pearlyn, do your Jap Lang Revision, dammit!") and deadlines in high-pitched munchkin-like tones. The twin terrors of guilt and panic rear their ugly horned heads.

Projects are the main source of my worries at the moment. I quote Brice, my EL1101E (English linguistics) project groupmate: "F*cking project! F*CK! -thumps table violently-" To say that we're all frustrated would definitely be a gross understatement. Nevertheless, we shall persevere and hope it'll all be worth it in the end.

You know what else is a gross understatement? "Pearlyn drinks too much coffee." I haven't been sleeping well since last week, partially due to a particularly nasty Lit test but mainly my imagination going into overdrive. I swear that my body was running on caffeine for at least 85 percent of the time (10 percent due to overpriced veggie sandwiches from Olio, and normal biological functions contributed to the remaining 5 percent.) Let me tell you, when you get an average of 4.5 hours of sleep a day, when Mount Pimplus erupts on your face 'cos of the irregulat sleeping patterns, when Joseph Conrad's convoluted prose style threatens your plebian brain with permanent paralysis, caffeine is your best friend. See, friendly!

But you know you're ingesting too much when 1) the lights suddenly seem very bright. 2) WAY too bright. 3) You can't sit still. 4) You get excited and laugh hysterically when your friend drops her pen during a lecture. 5) Triple G (Greasy Gross G*ee) starts lookin' real good from where you're seating.

Okay, I was kidding with the last one. Maybe not. You'll KNOW that you've gone off the deep end if that thought ever crosses your mind. Caffeine does things to your brain. A couple of days ago, I had 2 cups of kopi-O earlier in the day and spent the whole night tearing while thinking about how much I love my mother. Uhhh..ya.

Natasha Bedingfield is getting me into a party mood at 11.37 p.m.. Oh dear.

Bedtime, bedtime.

2007-09-15T09:15:00.000+08:00

Instead of being hard at work, I'm watching YouTube videos of
'Family Guy'. Mindless entertainment.

Form of formlessness, presence in absence.

2007-09-14T13:26:00.000+08:00

Form of Formlessness, Presence in Absence.

My brain is still reeling from the effects of an unbelievably draining Lit lecture. Today's Japanese Studies Lecture was about post-war Japanese history, which wasn't really very interesting. Nevertheless, with Juni nodding off next to me, I tried my very best to focus; I cannot afford to space out anymore! The mistakes from Junior College musn't be repeated.

Duty, responsibility, obligation, passion.
In that order, but sometimes I wish could just let passion rule everything.
You, dear friend, will probably laugh at me as you read this from your room in Miri.
Good-naturedly, of course.
Somehow there was a pang of loss when you told me that you were already out of Singapore.

You, with the key to my Box:
I wonder if you've really thrown it away.
That look in your eyes as you struggled to comprehend - I do believe that you really tried.

Love - selfish and selfless at the same time.
Consuming, devouring; comforting, nurturing.
Smothering, stifling. My grip slipped.
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts.

The bitterness has faded. Into what, you ask?
I'm not sure about that. I still haven't forgotten, and I think I won't ever forget.
Our hopes, our madness, our infinite joy.
This isn't an attempt to be poetic; neither is it a moment of destructive self-indulgence.
It's just my matter-0f-fact acknowledgement of circumstances. Acceptance isn't exactly a choice...it never was.

We were innocent, once.

HAHAHA

2007-09-13T23:52:00.000+08:00

From Juni's blog:
Reminds me of last week's Lit lecture.

Wild Horses - Alicia Keys feat. Adam Levine

2007-09-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I can't let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried
Let’s do some living BEFORE we die

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

Someday. Some day.

Envy

2007-09-13T21:31:00.000+08:00

You're a lucky girl.

*

I'm sitting at my desk in my usual cross-legged Zen way. It's 6.30 in the morning, the air is crisp, and from outside my room comes the familiar tinkle of plates and cups being washed in the kitchen sink and the footsteps of my Mum as she walks barefoot around the kitchen to prepare the family for yet another eventful day. The sounds I've woken to since the beginning of my school life that never cease to comfort me, the steady timeless rhythm that soothes while enveloping me in sweet, sweet Love.

The only kind of Love in this world, I think, that will never change. Unlike people.

2007-09-09T14:32:00.000+08:00

DUKE ORSINO
If music be the food of love, play on;

Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,

The appetite may sicken, and so die.

That strain again! it had a dying fall:

O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,

That breathes upon a bank of violets,

Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:

'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.

O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou,

That, notwithstanding thy capacity

Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there,

Of what validity and pitch soe'er,

But falls into abatement and low price,

Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy

That it alone is high fantastical.

-"Twelfth Night", act 1 scene 1 (William Shakespeare)

I can hear the collective sigh of nostalgia from all you secondary school Lit Loonies. Heh.

Lit in university couldn't be more different from Lit in secondary school than Jimmy Choos and Crocs. Frankly, I have alot of say about Crocs but as usual, I am determined not to succumb to my tendency for digression. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy Lit at the moment - although listening to Triple G's attempts to cram tonnes of intellectual garbage into the space between my ears during lectures will probably be detrimental to my health in the long run - it's still an immensely enjoyable subject to study and I'm still very much the same girl in the white blouse and ankle-length navy blue pleated skirt who could be moved to tears of pity or mirth by the lovely tapestries of words (overused, but very apt phrase). Who can still, at the age of 19 and 2 months, spill water all over herself while reading Sula in the comfort of cafe Olio, and not realise it till after a delay in reaction time of approximately 10 seconds because she was too engrossed in the part about Plum being burnt to death (spoiler spoiler) by his own Mama. Aiyoh.

Cyril, my Lit tutor, lead a discussion about self-destructive thoughts on Thursday. I'm actually comfortable with calling him by his name 'cos he seems more like a knowledgeable peer than a teacher. Anyway, Conrad's The Secret Agent deals with how people become alienated from others because of a lack of communication...how a secret grow inside a person like an insidious weed on a fertile bed of soil, eventually devouring him from inside out. We talked about how such ends can be self-induced and somebody brought up the example of depressed people who seem to actually languish in a self-imposed state of misery and don't do anything to pull themselves together. This immediately reminded me of Orsino from Twelfth Night, not really in love with the beautiful Olivia, but with the idea of Love itself. o_O

There's definitely a bit or Orsino in everyone ; we all have emotional quagmires that we willingly sink into at some points of time, and everything seems to come to a standstill until we finally let the blows of reality sock us into action again. Nothing wrong with being a little self-indulgent - it is, in a sense, an innate vulnerability that makes us human, right? The only thing I resent about this is the amount of time wasted during that period, sighing/moping/crying/basically doing nothing. We spend time mulling over things that are probably irreversible and overlook the things that actually do matter, as well as the people who love and care about us. I always wish that I could turn back time and redo many many things. Sounds cliched, but don't you wish you could too? So many things left undone, to be undone...countless words I wish I could have taken back, others I regret having left unsaid. I am so not good at handling all that emotional stuff where matters of the heart are concerned and I find myself always, always retreating into this state of total inertia and melancholy. I hide my emotional baggage like how I used to hide stuff all over the place when my Mum wanted me to clean my room; some things get lost along the way but some remain buried and forgotten until a random occurence results in their discovery, like the dredging up of a not-so-forgotten memory. I really want to buffer myself against all the hard knocks that'll come along, as well as the occasional repercussions from past memories... but obviously that's a very naive thought.

I just want to protect myself.

Many transitions have been encountered since the end of my sheltered Dunman High School existence, and even more so, after the end of Junior College. Moving on is good, but I'm still trying to get used to the pace of varsity life; the pace of lectures and tutorials, meeting so many new people in different tutorial groups (and struggling to remember their names)... Sometimes, it's like an out-of-body experience because everything seems so fleeting, that precious little has enough time to settle in and budding friendships aren't really given the chance to develop. It all seems kind of superficial, people just walking in and out of one another's lives...so sad, because I have this feeling that I can be really good friends with some people if we had more opportunities for interaction.

Sentimentality and nostalgia. As I sit here typing, there's this vase of dried flowers sitting on my shelf. It's been there since year 1 of JC, and I really have no reason to keep them anymore..yet, I can't bear to throw them out. My thoughts also drift to that box inside the cupboard with all my stuffed animals. My very own Pandora's box, which I still don't have the courage to open.

Okay, I really need to clean my room.

ang ku kueh!!

2007-09-09T00:31:00.000+08:00

I love weekend mornings at home. (:

That lovin' feeling...

2007-09-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

Freudian Slip
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A Freudian slip, or parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory or physical action that is believed to be caused by the unconscious mind.
Some errors, such as a man accidentally calling his wife by the name of another woman, seem to represent relatively clear cases of Freudian slips. In other cases, the error might appear to be trivial or bizarre, but may show some deeper meaning on analysis. As a common joke goes, it can be like "saying one thing, but meaning another." A Freudian slip is not limited to a slip of the tongue, or to sexual desires. It can extend to our word perception where we might read a word incorrectly because of our fixations. It is important to note that these slips are semi-conscious. This is to say that these thoughts are consciously repressed and then unconsciously released. This is unlike true Freudian repression which is the unconscious act of making something unconscious.

I've always been unsure of what the term 'Freudian Slip' really meant and I initially associated it with sex, and only sex. Tsk, stop sniggering! Anyway, Wikipedia, the trusty online encyclopedia has once again enlightened me. The phrase came to mind during a msn conversation with Weldon, when I was suddenly inspired to pose a a situational question. It didn't exactly come out the way I intended though.

Pearlyn - Gingko nut poisoning!! says:
weldon. i ask u sth
Pearlyn - Gingko nut poisoning!! says:
if u were a guy
Pearlyn - Gingko nut poisoning!! says:
i mean
Pearlyn - Gingko nut poisoning!! says:
I MEAN
Pearlyn - Gingko nut poisoning!! says:
if u, AS A GUY
Pearlyn - Gingko nut poisoning!! says:
(of course u are a guy..)

It was seriously unintentional! FREUDIAN SLIP!! =x

Okay, okay...I'll go back to Jap Studies now.

I hearts Singapore - Rantings of a disgruntled commuter

2007-09-07T19:25:00.000+08:00

I *hearts* Singapore! - Rantings of a Disgruntled Commuter (and an ugly one at that! hoho!)

Thanks to dear Evon, the font on my blog is much easier to read now. (: I wanted to change the template 'cos admittedly, the current one's rather boring and doesn't show titles of the entries. Unfortunately, nothing caught my eye, so I'll just have to include the title in the main text body for now (I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier!).

As mentioned before, I live in Tampines, which is practically on the other side of the island from where NUS is. It's a commuter's nightmare comprising of 1 hour on the MRT followed by a 20 minute bus ride, waiting time not included. I usually get onto the train at between 7.15 to 8.30 a.m. because classes start at 9a.m. on Mondays and 10a.m. for the rest of the week, and it's always a tight squeeze as that's the time when many people are on their way to work. Hopes of getting a seat and putting down my heavy bag and laptop are dashed, at least until City Hall (if I'm lucky) or Tiong Bahru. I'm usually alright with standing as long as I'm not wearing my 3-inch elevation but sometimes, I long to sit down with my readings (hohoho!) or a good book and lose myself in the streams of text until I get off. Anyway, being the naturally curious (read: kaypoh) person that I am, observing others in the same carriage becomes my pastime while standing. Anyone who is familiar with the public transport system in Singapore will definitely have his or her own fair assortment of interesting/infuriating/bewildering/weird mini-experiences to speak of. Here are just a couple of mine. (:

Chivalry is officially dying (dead?)

I worked in Clementi for the months of January and February this year and needless to say, I had to take the MRT to and fro. I got onto the train heading home at around 6p.m. and got cramped sardine-style into the space between 2 adjoining carriages. A tall, well-built man in his twenties (henceforth known as Horrible Guy), a middle-aged lady and I were clustered around the seats-for-two region, where the black and orange figures are seated in my artistic representation below:

So anyway, orange lady reaches her stop and stands up. Obviously Middle Aged Lady needed the seat more than me and Horrible Guy, right? By default, 'cos she was older, hunched and carried what looked a bucket instead of a handbag. Apparently Horrible Guy didn't think so, because at the speed of light, his huge, hairy arm shot out and blocked, while he skilfully manoeuvered his massive form in front of MAL - who was actually moving towards the seat- and plonked down, causing a small earthquake in the process. He didn't even bat an eyelid when MAL and I stared daggers at him! In retrospect, I should have said something at that point of time...but I guess I was intimidated by his imposing physical stature. Hmph.

Another similar incident occurred on Matriculation Day, when I was on my way home. The train wasn't particularly packed when I got on, but all the seats were taken. An elderly couple got into the same carriage - they were really old, totally white-haired and wizened - and guess what? All the able-bodied, strong-looking men that were seated in the row in front of them promptly fell asleep. It was the most ridiculous display of SYNCHRONISED indifference I ever saw! Fortunately, the couple got off the train 2 stops later. Once again, I'm ashamed to say that I could only rage silently as I witnessed all of that. I admire people who have the courage to speak up for what they think is right, without any fear of being judged or criticised by those who disagree with them. Speaking up in class or standing up for a friend seems so different (to me), compared to such situations in terms of the amount of courage required. It doesn't exactly help that I tend to blurt out things in a fit of sheer recklessness - as a result of this, I need to mentally "screen" whatever I want to say first, in order to (a) avoid offending someone, (b) not sound stupid or (c) both.

Someone once told me that he saw a huge group of people clamouring to get into the lift at the MRT station. The only one who didn't manage to enter the lift eventually was a guy in a wheelchair. It's things like this that make you wonder what parents teach (or don't teach) their kids nowadays. Things like what I encountered during my relief teaching days as well...good grief. Call me a prude if you will, but I'm really proud of my Confucian-style upbringing. Anway, digression, DIGRESSION! More about this some other day.

Actually, the main reason for this post was a conversation I heard on the train yesterday, between a girl from China and a young woman from Belgium which basically debased and insulted Singaporeans. I told Juni (Jun Yi, fellow Teh-Gao freshie cum JS lecture mate and fellow singing enthusiast) all about it and after he got over his "ohmygoodness-Pearlyn-you're-such-a-voyeur" thing, he suggested that I title my blog post 'I *hearts* Singapore', saying that I should go and be a member of Parliament. Now, I don't consider myself patriotic but what I heard really pissed me off and nearly (see lah, "nearly"...oh, the cowardice.) sent me into a lengthy exposition about the virtues of our little island. Basically, from what I heard (hey, in my own defence, -albeit, quite feeble...-they didn't even bother to keep their voices down.) the women lived in the same condominium but only just met. The Chinese girl said that she preferred her friends in China, because they are more friendly and the lady from Belgium said that she had no real friends in Singapore despite having lived here for 7 years. Then, she went on to say, 'Singaporeans are so shallow, they're not geniunely interested in anything!' Chinese girl just nodded and smiled, while Belgium Woman continued, 'Don't you think that the people here are really ugly? The Chinese ones, especially. They're supposed to be Chinese, but not Chinese-looking. I've been to your country, and there are so many good-looking men!' I was reading through my copy of Sula, the latest to-be-discussed-in-lecture text for Lit, and as compelling as it was, her remarks were so audible and so virtriolic, that I couldn't help eavesdropping. Yes, yes, yes. Enough.

She continued dissing Singaporeans about their looks, saying how she and her boyfriend were so amused by this "Monster Island" - she actually gave a little bemused giggle at this one - that when they saw this man that 'looked like an alien', they wanted to take pictures. She also called us dwarves and laughed at our 'short little limbs'. My goodness, the irony at that moment was so thick, I'm actually surprised that she didn't choke on its fumes. Hello, womannn! You call us 'shallow', and ALL you can come up with in your verbal tirade against Singaporeans are some remarks about our less-than-perfect looks?? Now who's superficial, you tell me! She kept comparing Belgium with Singapore, citing how much better it is than our "Monster Island" - all this while seated in air-conditioned comfort, being transported to atas City Hall for work, all thanks to our very efficient (okay, most of the time.) and organised public transport system. Hurhur, imagine that.

Okay okay, I should leave for my NUSSU- Public Relations Unit General Meeting NOW. Goodness, such an abrupt end to the post. Catch you all soon. (:

2007-09-03T19:24:00.000+08:00

Everytime there's a man in my life to complicate things, I get thrown into an emotional whirlpool of instability. It's pretty frustrating when that happens because I don't realise it until I'm out of the whole mess, feeling like I just woke up from an overly-long afternoon nap after a carsick-induced bout of vomitting. Ugh. Anyway, whatever that was going on between Number 2 and me is more or less over. Keywords are: incompatible, age gap, the past. Connect the dots, please.

Ah well. ):

I'm quite disappointed that "age gap" belongs there, actually.

2007-08-30T21:12:00.000+08:00

1. (the person who tagged you is) - Harrison
2. (your relationship with him/her is) - Friend/Teh-gao student councillor!
3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) - smart/friendly/superdupernice/smart/intellectual/a good listener/smart/very smart/patient
4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you) - Listen to me gripe, rant and fret over something that doesn't matter anymore.
5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you) - Oh man! I KNOW! "I don't believe in eating till I'm full. I believe in eating till I'm satisfied." HAHAHA!
6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will) - Wake up awhile later and laugh at that funny dream I had.
7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) - not be too accomodating; he's really Mr Nice! Harri, don't let people take advantage of you!
8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will) -Just pretend that he doesn't exist. I'm good at that sort of thing.
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be) - Betrayal and/or backstabbing...but I can't imagine him doing that!
10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is) - Erm, I think I will start by updating this blog more regularly! :p See tagboard for more information. I also want to be a good friend and confidante...actually this applies to all my lovely new friends too.
11. (your overall impression of him/her is) - VERY PATIENT, intelligent but humble.
12. (how you think people around you will feel about you) - When I don't smile, they think I'm an unfriendly, miserable cow. Hmmm. Some people have commented that I look and behave like a future tai tai! Generally, I guess (and hope that) they feel comfortable talking to me about many things.
13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is) - approachable
14. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is) - opinionated
15. (the most ideal person you want to be is) - the best that I can be. CLICHE ALERT! :p
16. (for people that care and like you, say something to them) - I love you guys too!
17. (pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you)
1. Cheewy 2. Janice 3. Candice 4. Chun Kiat 5. Tuan 6. Angie 7. Si Ying 8. Evon (I put just for fun la.) 9. Weldon 10. Brother Di
(who is no.6 having a relationship with?) - nobody
(Is no.9 a male or female?) -Er, hahahahahahahahahaha! Now that's an interesting question. apparently he's male. ;-)
(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) - Unlikely that it'll ever happen but you never know these things!
(What is no.2 studying?) - Maths, Maths, terrible Maths!
(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) - erm, last month. we were griping about varsity life, hohoho.
(What kind of music does no.8 like?) - English and Chinese pop music, especially songs by her beloved Yan Zi!
(Does no.1 has any siblings?) - Yes, an older brother.
(Will you woo no.3?) - Hmmm. Candice is pretty, and I'm a repressed closet lesbian. Hohoho.
(How about no.7?) - Ditto. ;-)
(Is no.4 single?) - probably? correct me if i'm wrong, of course. p.s. Chun, looking good these days!
(What’s the surname of no.5?) - Ngyuen
(What’s the hobby of no.4?) - Biking!
(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?) - Not bad. Especially when Tuan fancies a grope every now and then. Oh dear, I probably shouldn't say anymore!
(Where is no.2 studying at?) - NUS
(Say something casual about no.1) - She's ranked number 2 after Angie in our you-know-what list.
(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?) - Haha! Now, what did I say about my lesbian tendencies..are you guys scared yet?
(Where does no.9 live?) - Tanah Merah
(What colour does no.4 like?) - Yellow, I think. Yellow for Gamma House!
(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) - No.
(Does no.7 like no.2?) - Probably, in a way aquaintances are usually fine with one another.
(How did you get to know no.2?) - sec 2 classmates!
(Does no.1 have any pets?) - Some mistreated hamster.
(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?) - She is definitely sexy and attractive, but 'in the world' might be stretching it too far.

nostalgia

2007-08-22T09:21:00.001+08:00

I've finally finished the whole tin of cookies Karen and Miss Chee (my mentors) gave to me on my last day at work. The cookies were from Famous Amos, came in assorted flavours and were absolutely yummilicious. Here's a picture of the fancy-looking tin: I'm halfway through my second week of university. The workload has been pretty manageable so far, owing to the fact that tutorials don't start until next week. Timetable matters have been settled after rounds of online bidding and balloting via the dreaded CORS and I managed to get all the modules and most of the tutorial slots I wanted, resulting in a very lovely 4-day week and extended weekend (Friday, Saturday, Sunday)! My only gripe is that I only have one tutorial on Wednesday, so technically, I will spend 1 and a half hours travelling to NUS for just one hour of class. Ah well. I guess I'll make Wednesday my Library Day and use it to print or photocopy readings.

Last night, I chatted with Poh Ling, my DHS senior cum ex-colleague. Poh Ling is a teacher-to-be at the National Institute of Education (NIE), training to mould and inspire the young minds of Singapore's future generations. I sound just like some National Education brochure! Hurhur. Anyway, Poh Ling was telling me how much more fun it is to be studying in school instead of teaching, 'cos can sleep in lectures' and 'wear shorts or jeans everyday!' What she implied was probably the relief of being out of the scutinising range of the "higher-ups" - the school we were at was especially particular about attire and didn't even allow us to wear sleeveless tops. I remember how Cheryl was totally goofing off during our Seoul Garden lunch buffet, how we were quite appalled at the change in the behaviour of our usually demure and quiet Miss Ho. Cheryl responded to our looks of astonishment with 'this is the real me!' - which brings me back to the scrutiny thing...naturally, teachers (whether relief, trainee or full-time) are expected to observe their conduct and set positive examples for students when they're in school. Of course I don't mean having to keep a stiff upper lip all the time while pretending to be someone totally different - that would be overdoing it! Let's just say that sometimes, it felt like an Orwellian 'Big Brother is watching' type of situation...I don't think it's appropriate to say anymore because students may be reading this blog. If you've read 1984 by George Orwell, you will definitely understand what I mean. For the ex Lit Loonies, think of 'under his Eye' ala The Handmaid's Tale.

Despite that, I still miss relief teaching, my students, my ex-colleagues. I had great mentors -Ms Chee was extremely patient with me, especially when I took such a long time to finish marking the test papers she assigned to me and Karen, with her hip dressing and random snippets of 'practical advice' ("when you get to uni, open your eyes bigger while you look for a boyfriend!"; once, she actually told Emen to get a girlfriend and stop having random flings. o_O) was like an elder sister to me when we weren't discussing teaching strategies for Charlotte's Web and the finer points of summary writing. I love our little Staffroom 2 with the cosy little desk I shared with Tuan and Sonia, plus the wonderful people whose larger-than-life personalities provided lots of entertainment and relief from noisy little morons and piles of accumulated marking. Last but not least, my 'comrades' aka the NIE trainees on practicuum or teaching experience, who still welcomed me with cheerful smiles every morning, even though I always brought them Post-its bearing additional class slots, courtesy of the atas people.

Ah yes, the students. I almost forgot. Enigmas, these people are.

I'm only done with two chapters of 'The Secret Agent'. Conrad's writing style is just not my cup of tea (or TEH-GAO). I space out everytime my brain gives up on it's attempt to navigate through the masses of convoluted-sounding sentences. For example: '...the whole social order favourable to their hygienic idleness had to be protected against the shallow enviousness of unhygienic labour.' Harrison and I did manage to figure that out eventually, but it was nevertheless a mental challenge. Bah. Imagine doing that for at least ten sentences on every page, and you'll understand why I'm such a sloth.

Rawrrrrrrrrrrrr. Okay! Must. Start. On. Conrad.
ARGH.

Garskin!

2007-08-20T19:45:00.000+08:00

Check out the laptop! Me and Jan hopped down to Raffles City Shopping Centre to skin our new Fujitsu lappies. Sent us back by about 50 bucks each, but we're both happy 'cos of obvious reasons. You don't have to be a genius to realise that it's more aesthetic than functional...laadeedummm... Don't cha wish your laptop was hot like me...
I'm bringing sexy back...yeah...
My workspace (for the time being)

I'm supposed to be studying now. Tomorrow's gonna be a pretty hectic day with 5 hours of lecture and seminar. Then I'll probably head down to The Deck and rot till netball starts at 6.30p.m.. I've already read through and summarised the chapter we'll be looking at for tomorrow's English lecture but I've yet to start on the assigned readings. Oh my goodness...tutorials begin next week!! I better start mugging really hard if I want my Crystal Jade treat.

Number 2 and I saw the Campus Superstar people Live at Plaza Singapore yesterday. Shawn's voice is breaking, just as what Cheryl predicted! Haha! Bourne Ultimatum was pretty good, even for Bourne noobs like us who've never caught the first 2 instalments. (The second one was on SCV a few months ago, but it's all fuzzy in my memory.) Following that was dinner at Cafe Cartel, which for some reason, left both of us feeling nauseous.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's netball practice as I'll be able to hang with my lovelies! Angie was commenting that we can actually 'take over the freaking committee'....hahahaha! I've also heard from a couple of my ex-students that they got As for E Lit! Even though I'm not teaching them anymore, I'll still like to think that it was partly due to my efforts..hehe.

Catch y'all soon.

13 years...so long. There's really so much more to you, and I'm really glad that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about such things. I appreciate the fact that you let me know...we're just trying to protect ourselves after all. Of course, it was definitely harder and more traumatic for you. I still don't know where it's all heading though. But I had a lovely evening too.

2007-08-13T22:18:00.000+08:00

I have no idea why I'm awake right now, at 7.18 a.m. when my only lecture of the day starts at 12 p.m.. Of course, living in Tampines when your school is in Kent Ridge means that you will have to leave promptly at 10 a.m. in order to there 20 minutes earlier, which is just the way I like it. Anyway, updates! I've finally uploaded the pictures from July's "goodbye lunch" with my ex-colleagues, after the last attempt left me quite irritated with Blogger. I attended only one day of Orientation Week, which was made lovely by my super enthusiastic, super nice OGmates. :-) The only thing I didn't really enjoy was the "Night Venture" - actually a euphemism for FRIGHT NIGHT...hurhurhur.

School starts good and proper today but there'll only be lectures for the next 2 weeks, while we ballot for our tutorial sessions. Ugh, I really hate all this bidding and balloting nonsense! On the bright side, I'll only have to go to school 4 times a week once everything is settled. And I guess my friends make all the unpleasant stuff (like my 10 a.m. to 9.30 p.m. Tuesday, bidding, the travelling, balloting, travelling, travelling and travelling.) alot more bearable. :-)

I've already checked out my the reading lists and other related info for my modules and I have a feeling that things aren't going to be as slack as they appear to be in my timetable! So many things to read - AHHHH! Oh well, at least it's better than having 4-hour long lab sessions. Laboratory. Lab. Lab. L-A-B. LAB! Goodness, that sounds disgusting no matter how you say it. I've always found science labs claustrophobic and stuffy. Not to mention that they always smell abit, erm...funky. Evon -a girl from my OG- mentioned last night that she's taking a Statistics module. I starting thinking about the last time I did Maths and nearly developed rashes from the thought.

Went out for dinner with Number 2 last night. I honestly don't know where it's all heading.

I miss Anne! Crazy woman. Haha!

Bath.

Photos photos!

2007-08-10T16:43:00.000+08:00

LYSS trainees and one Sai Kang Warrior minus Gui Li.

Clockwise from bottom left: Cheryl, Poh Ling, Lynette, Han Chien, Zakiah, Me (SKW), Emen

Miss Ong says, "Oei! How come I'm not in the picture!"
You went for tuition whaaaaat...

Lynette on a photo-taking spree....starting with herself.
Zakiah is so sweet and demure! :-)
Lynette says the orange are dry...
Mr Low shares an intellectual thought....
while Miss Neo gives her best spasticated expression.

Satisfied with her own self-taken portrait, Lynette proceeds to take pictures of other people. Han Chien laughs at the people being photographed laughing with food in their mouths.
Gui Li says, "Eh Lynette! That piece is mine! Don't you dare touch it!"
Zakiah and Gui Li.

I don't know what Gui Li is trying to do with the lump of food in her mouth...

Cheryl and Poh Ling. They're my Dunman High Seniors!

All together now...*sings* "It's a small world after all..."

Clockwise from left: Me, Emen, Cheryl, Han Chien.
Cheryl: I shall give my best -squeeeee- face!!!
Han Chien: Buay tahan la, act cute!

English Lang./Lit people: Me and Emen (fellow TJCians!)

It so happened that we were talking about TJ Mass Dances, and Emen actually let slip that his batch was the one responsible for the monstrousity that is 'Larger Than Life'. Hurhurhur.

Emen sure is enjoying his food - the expression says it all. OooomphmmmmmMmMmmmm.
Zakiah, Gui Li and Me.

That's my lettuce cooking!

THE BRACELET!

2007-07-25T19:53:00.000+08:00

My first venture into online shopping was rewarded with this:

Isn't it pretty? :) I do love my bling so.

The month has been punctuated with moments of elation, frustration, lethargy and emanicipation. It all started with a smile. With dimples, no less.

8 years. I guess the gap is wider beyond my wildest imagination. On Monday, I asked a student of mine about her crush on a certain young male relief teacher, "He's twenty-one! And what are you, fourteen? Thirteen - not even fourteen!?" The girl just looked at me with a very solemn expression, and said, "Cher. Age is not an issue." Part of me wanted to laugh but for the other part of me was caught with her foot in her mouth, so I just smiled and nodded.

Never loud and obnoxious, always shy...always so intriguing. It's funny how we sometimes shun the flamboyant and conspicuous things, and find ourselves inexplicably drawn to the subtle. I never said anything for the next couple of weeks, brushing it aside as something foolish and whimsical. It never went away, but nestled quietly somewhere deep and hidden. And probably grew.

Lookist? Hah, I never said I wasn't superficial...but there was a little something else that was special. Because of that first smile... I find myself wondering whether things would have turned out differently if I wasn't truthful about a certain double-digit thing. 8 years - not much in terms of age, but a massive disparity in priorities and lifestyle.

The inevitable sadness came today. The friendly banter, the concern, the "you're still young" chiding...nothing but fond memories now. Have you ever felt like crying over something, yet you hold back 'cos you feel so bloody ridiculous and absurd?

I don't know why it feels like such a big loss to me. 'Loss' in the broadest sense of the word, of course. You can't lose what you never had - such an apt cliche.

All I know is that I will miss everything.

And to think it all started with a smile.

2007-07-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

I think only Yoggi will understand this first bit.

Me: ...the car is really damn big. There is ALOT of space for other things besides driving.

Yoggi: Then DO IT. Make me grandchildren! We'll call them Benjamin Michal Walter.

It appears that she spelt 'Michael' wrongly, but she insists that it's the American spelling. Okaaaay, I'll let this one go COS IT'S HER BIRTHDAY TODAY!! ;-)

Me: Why "Benjamin Michael Walter"? I think those names are quite disgusting lor.

Yoggi: BMW lah!!!

Me: What the....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I AM DAMN PISSED OFF WITH BLOGGER. I just typed a long entry with pictures included, and the freaking thing screwed up, erasing 3 quarters of it. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

No mood already.

2007-07-20T12:46:00.000+08:00

I miss Yoggi. She's my honeybunchsugarplumpumki-umki-umkin, she's my sweetie pieeeee. Being random, as usual. Whoohoohoo.

wheeeoooo

2007-07-20T09:00:00.000+08:00

"Monday

Took her for a drink on Tuesday

We were making love by Wednesday

And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday

We chilled on Sunday

I met this girl on Monday

Took her for a drink on Tuesday

We were making love by Wednesday

And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday

We chilled on Sunday......"

I don't know about other people, but I've always had a problem starting off blog entries. Most of my entries begin pretty much the same way, i.e. (a) I apologise for the sporadic posting, (b) I say stuff like, "It's Monday morning...blah blah blah..." To the point, but highly unoriginal. Anyway, Craig David's "Seven Days" popped into my head just as I was trying to think of a good starting sentence. Pretty intense week for this guy eh. ;)

So the weekend flew by in a blink, Monday swooped down most unpleasantly, Tuesday crept in deviously behind her (In my opinion, Monday is mean cranky bitch, and Tuesday is just her equally ugly fraternal twin: not the same, but they pack the same amount of BS.) and Wednesday strolled in casually. All this basically sums up the nature of events that occurred the past few days. I was hoping that Thursday would be a little gentler on me, but noooooooo. Thursday leapt in socked me in the face with 2A2 and 2A3 back-to-back. My voice is going hoarse from yelling at irritating Monkey Boys and I seriously hope Jessica comes back soon 'cos they students are probably sick and tired of seeing me. Seriously, I always feel really bad for the nicer kids in classes labelled as "notorious" because they don't deserve to get yelled at and be detained by the Discipline people after school. They're the ones who go, "cher, don't be angry k...you shout so loud until my ears want to burst..." Unfortunately the best response I can muster is merely an sincere apology, which isn't quite enough.

On lighter note, the cookies I baked for my colleagues on Sunday afternoon have been devoured right down to the very last crumb and the feedback has been relatively positive, apart from Chin Leng's very obscure-sounding, "It's a good attempt." It was my first time baking chewy chocolate cookies, and I guess that sort of texture requires you to be very careful when setting the temperature of the oven. My oven is a primitive contraption, the primitive sort that aunties use to bake pineapple tarts and kueh bangkit during Chinese New Year and the temperature control is super tricky. For starters, I cannot set the temperature. Instead, I have to wait until the temperate rises to 350F and then hurriedly shove in the tray full of cookie dough lumps. This has to be done with precision and accuracy, if one does not wish to end up with a tray of black coals - which happened to my first batch. Chao tar like crazy. Bloody thing drives me up the wall everytime I bake, but Mum refuses to get a new one; her reason is that we don't have anymore space at home to keep another oven. Sighh.

I've been avidly reading Ms Cherrin Ng's (TJC GP tutor) "pregnancy blog". Her kids are sososososososososooooooooo adorable! There's just something about babies which gives them the ability to bring out our innermost softies. Take my niece, Chloe, for instance.

Are you ready for this?

Yes, yes. I know. Like all other babies, Chloes does little things - like sticking out her tongue, "singing" incoherently in cute monotone babbles and staring at her fist until she gets crossed-eyed for a few seconds before jamming the whole thing into her mouth - which sometimes reach practically offensive levels of cuteness. Recently, Mum mentioned that she's taken to rolling herself up into a ball and sucking on her own feet, while babbling to herself. My goodness, a multi-tasking baby! The thought of that is enough to send me into cute-induced spasms, numbing my senses into ignoring the unhygienic aspect of her actions. Ahhhhh.

Speaking of cute kids, Tuan and I were walking to the bus stop yesterday when we saw this little sec 1 boy a few metres ahead of us.

Me: Oh my god, he's like, WADDLING! Damn cute can!!

Tuan: Yeah. Like, "Out of my way, I'm cute." Hahahahahaha

Okay, okay I know it's kinda mean. We really mean it in the most adoring and least vindictive way possible.

I was walking past Mothercare at Tampines Mall in the afternoon when I saw the most gorgeous green and white babydoll halter dress. For the uninitiated, Mothercare caters to the needs of pregnant women and babies, selling everything pregnancy-related ranging from kids' clothing ("In this season's colours! And of course, pink." <--- doesn't the tagline sound precious? (-: ) to anti-stretchmark cream. The maternity wear on display didn't even look like it was for pregnant women! I spent a few seconds lingering outside the display window, just admiring it. Then I sms-ed the soulfriend in a fit of randomness.

Me: Random thought. Cos I just walked past Mothercare. Next time, if I ever ever ever get pregnant, I want to be a yummy mummy.

Tuan: haha your triple ever makes your motherhood all the more promising. well i hope yummy mummy means something like good nursing. and not about voracious appetite.

.........

........ERM.

WHAT?!?!

I was queuing up at the casher of Popular when I received his reply, and when I saw "good nursing" I was like "WTF?!" and actually snorted aloud. Very unglam, but what the hell.

Me: Erm. Actually I was thinking more along the lines of NICE PREGNANCY APPAREL...?

-.-"

Arghhhh I need to go back to my marking. Rawrrrrrrrrrr! Can you say "THREE STACKS OF SEC 4 COMPREHENSION EXERCISES" ???

Nincompoops!

2007-07-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

Dry eyes caused by contact lenses worn for too long, PMS, irritating buggers from work and accumulated piles of (half-assed) work done by said buggers, have compelled me to start this entry with a loud, resounding AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It's a Monday today, which really doesn't improve things. Of course, out of the four things I mentioned in the previous paragraph, two are due to my own procrastination (as always) and I attribute the PMS to biology - yes, PMS is scientific. You wanna argue with a hormonal neurotic female? Huh? HUH???

Just kidding. I was highly irritable and sensitive all day, and it was until my second last period of the day, when the revelation of PMS being the cause of the moodiness hit me.

We had 13 teachers absent today, just short of 2 to beat the latest record of 14. Mdm H., the teacher in charge of delegating the relief duties, was up to her spectacles in timetables and Post-it notes. Tuan came to help the Humanities Department today, and I had to give him a morning call at 5.30a.m. so we could be at the school by 7.05a.m.. Anyway, today's timetable was horrendous with a capital 'H'. First two periods were with 2A3, the most notorious sec 2 class, and because the relief-allocation thing took so long, I was already 15 minutes late. Needless to say, chaos greeted me - no, chaos LEAPT at me the moment I stood at the door. My highly sensitive RT-radar immediately detected that The Monkeyboy Fortress of the class was extremely strong i.e. there was practically a fucking anti-homework, anti-teacher intervention FORCE FIELD. Hence, at 8.30a.m., a time when most mortals would probably be only half-awake and their ears highly sensitive to anything above approximately 30 Hz, I used my Shouting Voice. I don't like to shout at students, and I'm sure everyone has bitched about a neurotic, curmudgeon of a teacher at some point of their lives, so in addition to making the students displeased (and hopefully, intimidated...hurhurhur.) I also made myself annoyed. The scratchy feeling of a strained throat is not good way to start a day.

Three periods of break followed, before I had to face the most devilish sec one class, 1T1. Barely 5 minutes into the lesson, I used the Shouting Voice twice and got groped by this chubby snot-faced creep FOUR TIMES. Yes, I was molested and I didn't realise it until the third time. I was talking to a particular group of girls when the Monkey Boy Patrol of that class surrounded them and proceeded to pelt them with paper balls. Then I felt someone tap my arm - technically not a tap because it was a sliding of about one inch before a slight squeeze. Now, before you think I'm paranoid and it's just the PMS hormones on a roll, think about the last time you actually physically touched anyone of your teachers.

Exactly. Since we were wee little tots, we've heard our parents tell us, "Don't talk to strangers." The lengthier version of this nugget of wisdom would be: "Don't talk to strangers, don't get too physically close to strangers, don't go anywhere a stranger wants to take you and for heaven's sake, don't let a stranger touch you." Okay maybe not exactly that per se, but it's something we all (should) know right? Your teacher, no matter how friendly, is still a stranger in many, many ways. By touching him or her, you are treading into the dangerous territory of "OVERLY-FAMILIAR", which is not good.

The first time it happened I was kinda startled and turned around to face the chubby terror. He said that he wanted to use the toilet, so I took the "tap" as an attempt to catch my attention in the midst of all the paper-throwing and shrieking. The second time it happened, I actually brushed his hand away and frowned at him. "Nabil, can't you see that I'm talking to your classmates? Can you sit down first?" I started to scold the culprits and my back was turned towards him. The third time he touched me, I DISTINCTIVELY felt his hand slide an additional half-inch down my arm and I whipped around and exclaimed, "Stop touching me!" AND THEN, he TOUCHED ME AGAIN, barely after those 3 words left my mouth. What. The. Fuck.

I wish I had a camera at that very moment to capture the perverted smirk on his face, for further proof when I report him to the Discipline Master.

One of the girls pulled me aside and told me that Nabil is a molester who likes to touch girls on their hands, shoulders. faces and buttocks. The thing is, NOBODY has dared to report him. Outrageous or what? -In WWF style- HE'S GOING DOWNNNN!!!

The primitive antics of 1T1 never cease to exasperate even the most experienced teachers in the school. They're not like your regular "you call me bastard? Teacherrrrr! XXX used a bad word!!" -cue little boys trying to wrestle- or the harmless but freaking irritating group of boys clustered around an mp3 player attached to speakers, drumming in unision. Think Tom and Jerry, like when Tom grabs a vase (or any other heavy injury-inducing object) and attempts to whack the living daylights out of Jerry, who jumps around in a comical panic-induced state. Think Vikings, Neandarthals or hairy cavemen clubbing one another on the heads with heavy clubs. Their fights and their pranks ALL have enormous damage/ injury potential, such as walking behind rhe seats of unsuspecting classmates and tipping them out of the chairs, causing them to fall painfully on their asses. I don't think I need to list out the dangers of that one.

1E5 was my last class, and they're also hell of a noisy lot but I didn't have the strength to yell or walk around anymore. I was dizzy because of all the blood rushing to my head from the horrors of the previous classes. I could literally feel the blood pressure rising and the blood boiling under my skin! The adrenaline ebb gradually drained me of so much energy, and this coupled with the fact that I was having my period, caused me to sit down before giving the instructions: "Sit down, do your own work." I'm usually very particular about students spending their time doing productive, academically-related stuff when I step in to "babysit". Therefore, I walk around the class, breathing down the necks of students who don't have anything work-related on their desks. However, the nagging guilty feeling that I was being a tad too irresponsible was overcome by dizziness and in that state, I actually said something like, "If you all want to use mp3 player of handphone, please be discreet." Tsk tsk tsk. So irresponsible, I know.

Okay, I'm seriously very tired.

2007-07-08T17:03:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In5uec02E8U

Watch this! Guaranteed to make you laugh.

"Whatevaaaaaaaaaaa!"

2007-07-07T08:00:00.000+08:00

I was up and awake since 7a.m. today, despite having gone to bed at nearly 1a.m.. Yesterday was my birthday! Thanks to everyone who remembered, for your well-wishes via calls, smses, Friendster comments and emails. My students from 2E2 actually bought me a cake from Bread Talk. It had a sticky, chewy outer layer of THICK DARK CHOCOLATE FUDGE (-drool-) and an inner layer of whipped cream and fluffy chocolate sponge. Mmmmmm. I had 2 slices and shared it with the people in my staffroom. Later in the day, a few more students from another class knocked on the staffroom door: "We want to wish Miss Ong Happy Birthday!" It was kinda embarrassing, buy nevertheless a sweet gesture. :-) Of course, Pearlyn's birthday won't be Pearlyn's birthday without a shopping trip right? Okay, shopping TRIPS to be exact. Mummy's wallet has lost a lot of weight with the numerous "Birthday Shopping Trips"...there's only supposed to be one, really. :-p

Went to watch Tuan onstage in his SMU drama production, titled "Lao Jiu" or "9th Born" in Mandarin. Okay, must help to promote abit:

"Lao Jiu" or "9th Born"

Raffles Hotel, Jubliee Hall, 7.30p.m.
Tickets: s$20

"Written by the late Kuo Pao Kun, "Lao Jiu mirrors the struggles between pragmatic materialism and the pursuit of artistic excellence. It revolves around the youngest 9th child and the only male descendant in a Chinese family. You Wei, better known as Lao Jiu, is expected to shoulder his family's expectation of a 17-year-old -- excellence in studies; and honour to the family. On the brink of receiving a prestigious scholarship, Lao Jiu discovers the dying craft of puppetry and the excitement that it brings him...."
(taken from the synopsis page of their programme booklet)

Not a bad production, with some hilarious moments and excellent actors. Mr "8th sister's boyfriend/ puppet" didn't do too bad, but he looked like he was trying hard not to laugh during the first bit :p! This made Tiang Lim started to snigger next to me. We also spotted this guy in the cast who looks ALOT like Adrian Pang the actor, facial expressions and all.

Four of The Girls/Horny Ladies left for Hong Kong the day before yesterday. I miss them...booo. I finally pierced my ears, something I wanted to do since sec 4! I was super excited after I was done, so I smsed Yoggi, Angie and Cheewy. "I finally pierced my ears! Not very pain! HAHA! Now you all can buy me earrings. :p"

Their replies:
Angela: You Loser. You lost to Janice.
Wei Yen: Haha finally pearl! You still lost to Jan.
Yoggi: Finally. I'm not going to be mean like them and say that you lost to Jan.
'
'
'
'
You can imagine my reaction right?
It turned out that they were all together during that time doing some planning for their trip.
-_-"

Going to lunch with Ozy later. It's gonna be quite a fun week ahead, with the return of Han, Yoggi, Angie and Cheewy from HK on Tuesday, and Tuan joining me at work on Monday. I'm a happy, happy girl.

2007-06-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

"I guess I'll ask you in the morning
Right before I pack my things and walk right out the door
I guess I'll ask you in the morning
And pretend we're still in love tonight
Because we won't be any more..."

That Lee Ryan. Whoaa...he's got me feeling it.

workworkwork

2007-06-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

The June holidays have ended and it's back to school all primary and secondary school students. For me, that means more crappy assignments to mark, more noisy little buggers and definitely more childish antics that either entertain me or piss me off. Campus Superstar Kid is starting to really, really annoy me with his newly-acquired self-importance, which appears to have followed his newly-acquired fame - I use 'fame' in the broadest sense of the word. Today, I found out that some of my sec 2 kids are really anti-him! I think he'd better watch his smarty pants attitude before some sec 2 Ah Beng whoops his sorry little under-developed ass.

I guess what really irks me is how he and his friends cluster together everytime I go into class, and just talk, sing and make alot of noise instead of doing the worksheets I give out. That cute koala bear thing is getting oldddd. :( Yesterday he took out his phone in class and I told him to keep it. He actually replied in a super indignant matter-of-fact tone (as if I was the one being an unreasonable nuisance), "I sending sms to the Mediacorp people la!" What the hell. Apparently, this kind of behaviour occurs during other teachers' classes as well, so I think it won't be long before someone caves and threatens to screw him his chances of appearing on TV.

Another kid that has succeeded in making me want to wring his neck is this idiot who kept shouting, "MISS ONG, WO AI NI!!! (Miss Ong, I love you!)" whenever I walked past last term. This term, his vocabulary has expanded to, "MISS ONG, JIA GEI WO! WO YAO NI DE AI! (Literally: Miss Ong, marry me! I want your love!)" Every. Single. Freaking. Time. I was like, wtffffffff. Eventually I was so mad, I scolded him in a complex series of Chinese phrases, which he of course did not understand. Muahahahahahaha!

Candice, Anis, Joylynn and Khairul (all the relief teachers present last term) have left, so it's just me and this new girl named Anne. It's been fun chatting with her during breaks 'cos she's just so frank and unpretentious and we can bitch and bitch about students like nobody's business. :) New batch of NIE teachers have arrived, so our workload isn't so heavy. Speaking of new teachers, a lighter workload isn't just the only good thing that has happened. HEHEHEHEHE...

I wanna shee eurrr sshy, shhweet shhweet schhmile and kyuutey kyuutey kyuuute dhimplesss!

If you still don't get the above sentence despite having read it numerous times - assuming that you haven't died of frustration from the unnecessary letter 'h's - it's in Twit Language (Google 'Twitionary'), introduced to me by Anne. Fret not, I've not morphed into an airhead (although I know some people are begging to differ) I'm just mocking the silly goons who actually type like, write like this, talk like this. One word: EWW.

But he does indeed have such a nice smile. ;-)

Bali Bali Bali

2007-06-21T12:56:00.000+08:00

I'm so upset with Blogger and it's text editor - the colours on my previous post don't show up properly! In case you're confused, the red fonts are excerpts from Maddox's article. There's a particular paragraph that's half red and half olive, which I can't seem to fix. Grrr...and 'Lesson 3..blah blah..' is supposed to be dark blue but text editor has once again failed me. I have a feeling that editing Html will be more fool-proof but unfortunately, I'm Html illiterate.

The rest of this post shall be about my Bali experience. I feel that 4 days and 3 nights wasn't enough for me to fully appreciate the beauty of the island; I spent a total of FIVE minutes on the beach and my skin's like, only half a shade darker. Boo!

Day 1, 16 June 2007, Saturday
Met up with the extended family - all 17 of us altogether - at Changi Airport. Departure to Denpasar, capital city of Bali via Singapore Airlines (yay Daddy). Flight was 2 and a half hours, too short for me to finish watching "The Number 23" on Krisworld. Upon arrival, I was kinda disappointed by the airport standards...I mean, you think Bali and you imagine lovely island paradise with plenty of smiling, welcoming people...warm and cosy lighting.....at least that was what I anticipated. Instead, you get this:

This picture was taken from the web, and it's actually one of the better ones...the only thing that redeems this shot is perhaps the Polo store. If I could I would show you a picture of their gloomy-looking arrival halls but I wasn't in the mood to whip out my camera while carrying my luggage. We met our tour guide, Jacky, an Indonesian Chinese national, and were each presented with a garland of frangipanis as a sign of welcome:
I took this using night mode..the garland made my skin and nose itch, so I took it off after awhile. Those are my new purple specs..hehe..funkymunky.. Our hotel was the 5-star Inna Grand Bali which wasn't really 5-star quality, but I guess quality is relative to the standards of locals in a country. After checking in, we all went to the seaside bar for supper where I had the worst-tasting Singapore Sling ever; it tasted more like Robitussin cough medicine. As expected, there were also all sorts of weird-as-shit insects, including Rambo houseflies and mozzies which proceeded to feast on my legs.

Day 2, 17 June 2007, Sunday
Started the day with a visit to the Balinese Painters' Colony in Ubud village, where there was alot of overpriced Batik for sale.

Next, off to watch this hour-long dance performance called "Barong and Kris" which was entirely in Bahasa Indonesia, so we had a pretty difficult time following the story. On top of that, it was quite boring and the mozzies were having a blood feast...the ang moh in front of me was actually reclining sideways on the bench! Hehehe...one of the actors playing the role of the villain:

My brother says his hair looks alot like mine. Twit.

Being the mountain tortoises we are, we got super excited over the sight of REAL cows in a field. It kinda reminds me about "Rice Without Rain", our sec 2 Lit novel. Remember, Dao? :-p

After that, it was off to Mas to visit some woodcarving shop and check out gold and silversmith handicraft at Celuk. At the latter, my shopaholic instinct kicked in and I was able to get a handcrafted silver necklace consisting of inter-linking silver hearts at 50% off! One of my uncles got a couple of wood-carved PENISES to display in his home. Erm...

Erm.

Really quite big ah.

Proceeded up to the beautiful mountain resort of Kintamani, which offers a stunning view of the volcano and magnificent Lake Batur. If I'm starting to sound like a travel brochure, it's because I'm lifting the descriptions from Hong Thai Travel's 'Enchanting Bali' itinerary. Lunch was at Penelokan, against picturesque scenery of the volcano and lake. It was Indonesian style buffet, with lots of meat items so I didn't have many choices.

Last on the list was the old Gao Gajah or Elephant Caves, which date waaaay back to the 11th century. Apparently children who aren't very bright are encouraged to rub the trunk of the statue of the Elephant God...my uncle heard that, and pointedly looked at me. -_-" No pictures allowed at the sacred grounds, sighh.

Top: Charmaine (my 13 year-old niece) and me, bottom: Walter (my 13 year-old brother)

Day 3, 18 June 2007, Monday
Woke up early to enjoy the fresh morning breeze. The quality of air in Bali is tonnes better than Singapore's...quite comical to watch my cute aunties attempt to inhale as much mountain air as possible into their lungs. Lovely view from my hotel room:

After breakfast, we proceeded to Bedugul to visit the countryside and another mountain resort, and lunch was at a local restaurant overlooking peaceful Lake Beratan. It allowed us such a wonderful panoramic view of the place, and the air was so freshhhh... at that moment I had a fleeting desire to move there and live in spiritual retreat for the next 50 years. Then I remembered Orchard Road, (relatively) insect- free toilets, my friends, my closet, my growing shoe and accessory collection, and abandoned the thought.

We also went to the Royal Temple of Mengwi, Monkey Forest and Tanah Lot Seaside Temple. More beautiful scenery....

Top: Mummy and the back, with her cousin. Below: attack of the suah ku- PADI FIELDS OMG.

Below: Royal Temple shots

Monkey Forest was scary, in my opinion. Which is why I have only one picture of brave Mummy here posing in front of a bunch of potentially dangerous primates. A monkey actually went to hug the leg of one of the ladies from our tour group and she screamed like a freaking banshee. I was busy looking forward half the time, trying not to notice the curious hairy things as they followed us or leapt from tree to tree overhead...as I was making my way back to the bus one of them actually followed me, probably 'cos of my big bag. like, (monkey's thoughts) 'bag. bag = food. food = good. biggest bag = most food.' :-s

Below: Tanah Lot Seaside Temple

aaaand views from the restaurant.....

oops...mummy caught in an unglam moment....

The adults went for SPA treatments at night, leaving us in the care of my 30sth cousin Andy and his girlfriend Genevieve. I finally tried the famous Krispy Kreme doughnuts! Hehehe...

Walter and Andy wearing their KK paper hats!

Day 4 was departure day...nothing much happened, no pictures either. I've spent 5 hours on my ass blogging and uploading pictures...gonna go off now and bathe. Taa.

2007-06-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

obtained from http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=grill I had originally wanted to type a post about my Bali vacation, but something killed my mood and now I'm compelled to blog about it. I got the link of this website from Xiaxue's blog, and found myself rolling my eyes 70% of the time spent reading what this guy wrote.

I was looking over a menu in a restaurant the other day when I saw a section for vegetarians; I thought to myself "boy, I sure am glad that I'm not a meat-hating fascist"

You know someone's obviously looking for trouble when he starts an article like that. Visually, this translates into the image of a scrawny teenage punk doing the "360 degree" (according to my cousin Xin Yi, that's the proper name of the swagger thingy that makes Ah Bengs walk like they have flea-infested balls.) while shouting to random innocent people, 'Eh! you stare what stare! Want to fight is it? Can! I can fight! I can fight 'cos I am strong! Come lah!' Obviously, all he gets are people ignoring him, shaking their heads in disgust/amusement/sympathy. Personally, I would choose the latter but more about that on another day. Lesson 1: if you want to sound convincing in a speech or article, don't shoot yourself in the leg before you even begin. Let's look at another lovely quote:

What pisses me off so much about this phrase is the sheer narrow-mindedness of these stuck up vegetarian assholes. You think you're saving the world by eating a tofu-burger and sticking to a diet of grains and berries?

Woah hohoho. Looks like somebody's getting wound up! My immediate immature reaction to this was "well, at least we actually get shit passing through our 'stuck up vegetarian assholes', you constantly constipated, carcinogen-ridden, artery-clogged dirtbag!" However, let us read on before I make further comments.

Well here's something that not many vegetarians know (or care to acknowledge): every year millions of animals are killed by wheat and soy bean combines during harvesting season (source). Oh yeah, go on and on for hours about how all of us meat eaters are going to hell for having a steak, but conveniently ignore the fact that each year millions of mice, rabbits, snakes, skunks, possums, squirrels, gophers and rats are ruthlessly murdered as a direct result of YOUR dieting habits. What's that? I'm sorry, I don't hear any more elitist banter from you pompous cocks. Could it be because your shit has been RUINED?
That's right: the gloves have come off. The vegetarian response to this embarrassing fact is "well, at least we're not killing intentionally." So let me get this straight; not only are animals ruthlessly being murdered as a direct result of your diet, but you're not even using the meat of the animals YOU kill? At least we're eating the animals we kill (and although we also contribute to the slaughter of animals during grain harvesting, keep in mind that we're not the ones with a moral qualm about it), not just leaving them to rot in a field somewhere. That makes you just as morally repugnant than any meat-eater any day. Not only that, but you're killing free-roaming animals, not animals that were raised for feed. Their bodies get mangled in the combine's machinery, bones crushed, and you have the audacity to point fingers at the meat industry for humanely punching a spike through a cow's neck? If you think that tofu burgers come at no cost to animals or the environment, guess again.

If there's one thing I hate, it's a narrow-minded, anal, self-righteous person who doesn't tolerate the existence of any other set of beliefs other than his own. Yes, extremist religious fanatics who give me shit like "I want to save you" or "there is no God other than mine", I'm talking to you as well. I'm not defending vegetarianism or my own beliefs, nor am I gonna adopt some holier-than-thou stand to criticise meat-eaters and assert the moral superiority of vegetarians in comparison to those who love meat. A vegetarian who, for instance, takes delight in grossing out his meat-loving friends and relatives with gory details about the factory farming industry while dining at social/family gatherings (read: freaking inappropriate.) or one who hurls abuse others just because they eat meat will annoy me as much as a meat lover who criticises the HELL out of vegetarians just because he happens to have a few counter-arguements on his side. It's really interesting to see how Mr Maddox (that's his name) seems to be turning his article into an argumentative monologue, complete with insults and allegations. Can you spell 'unnecessary'? On the other hand, I let my empathy kick in and give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean, maybe he had a particularly traumatising run-in with a bunch of celery-worshipping droids, maybe he's sick of all the anti-meat/anti-fur/anti-leather campaigns and marches that are oh so common in the States. Maybe one of those people insulted his mother. Or maybe his uncle's wife's cousin's sister-in-law's brother got knifed for eating -gasps- not one but TWO hotdogs in Las Vegas, and last but not least, maybe the last girl he dated was a massive two-timing biatch - who also happened to be vegetarian, duh. Really, the possibilities are endless.

The vegetarian response to this embarrassing fact is "well, at least we're not killing intentionally." Since when is the knowledge that every year millions of animals are killed by wheat and soy bean combines during harvesting season 'embarrassing'? For your information, Mister Maddox, most vegetarians are usually animal rights activists and vegetarianism is just ONE of the ways such people try to reduce and/or prevent animal sufferring or cruelty. Kindly do not marginalise all of us as stuck up individuals who take the moral high ground and berate meat eaters while proudly boasting about how "guiltless" we are. Boo to those obsessesed vegetarians who are - I cannot stress this enough- a MINORITY, of course. And get this, genius: many vegetarians know that animals get killed by accident during crop harvesting and there are projects by PETA and other animal rights organisations to reduce this. Lesson 2: always look at both sides of an argument. More monologue gems...I think my eyeballs are dizzy from all that rolling.

That suddenly makes you innocent? I guess we should let drunk drivers off the hook too since they don't kill intentionally either, right? There's no way out of this one. The only option left for you dipshits is to buy some land, plant and pick your own crops. Impractical? Yeah, well, so is your stupid diet.

It gets worse...
Even if combines aren't used to harvest your food, you think that buying fruits and vegetables (organic or otherwise) is any better? How do you think they get rid of bugs that eat crops in large fields? You think they just put up signs and ask parasites to politely go somewhere else? Actually, I wouldn't put that suggestion past you hippies.

Now he's just being plain rude. Newsflash, smart boy! Modern societies are made up of all sorts of races and religions of people who have various beliefs which they hold close to their hearts. Vegetarians have their own beliefs too...apart from the extremists (m-i-n-o-r-i-t-y) nobody's saying that everyone should go vegetarian because it's The Right Thing. A characteristic of a civilised modern society is a fabric woven out of a myraid of cultures and outlooks, i.e. you don't go round labelling people as "vegetarians" or "meat-eaters". You don't see an African-American guy and yell out "Yo Nigga!" don't you? Hippies. Ouch, that, like, really hurts. Peace, maaan.

His attempts to justify his meat-loving habits by refuting many things vegetarians mention while advocating their practices contradict the intentions he seems to be establishing in the first place. Mr Maddox doesn't like vegetarians 'cos they're self-righteous, self-justifying, tight-assed and mean shits, boo hoo hoo. So why is he acting like the sort of person he despises? I'm absolutely increduled by the statement 'humanely punching a spike through a cow's neck', and I sure as hell won't want to be exposed to the rest of this guy's moral universe. Or hear him stage another monolugue titled, for example, "Torture: Skinning alive vs. Electric shocks to the balls; which is more humane?"

Who the hell defines what a so-called 'lesser evil' is anyway? I don't understand why people like Maddox insist on finding ways to assert their practices/religions/customs etc. are better than others, when really, it's up to the individual to decide what he wants to believe in. Nobody's denying that little critters get smushed up by harvesters and tractors, nobody's denying that the tiny buggie-wuggies that eat our crops die terrible spasmic deaths upon exposure to pesticides. Hell, there're even studies which apparently show that plants have feelings and may perhaps be able to feel pain. Go and google 'plants have feelings' and see what you get. All these are as real as the sufferring animals go through while being raised in factory farms and during trips to the slaughter houses, how they struggle and thrash about while squealing/mooing/squawking etc. in pain while workers at slaughter houses humanely *snort* decapitate them/break their necks/poke them with electric prods/slit their necks. It would be ignorant and ridiculous to insist that you are always right when you don't know about anything else, wouldn't it? With knowledge (reading widely about various stuff, obviously.) acquired, people can hence make informed choices. The keyword is CHOICE! We make choices all the time. You choose delicious cheesecake over your bulging waistline. Your desire for convenience makes you choose driving to the mall, which may just be 10 minute walk away (in the case of my Mum.). You know about animals sufferring, but still choose to eat meat 'cos your love for meat triumphs over your sense of empathy. It's as simple as that. No, I'm not saying you're heartless...it's your right to make a choice. Just don't expect everyone else to think and behave like you do, and don't get all overly-defensive and aggressive when they don't.

Then some of you throw out claims that "we are trying to limit the suffering." How about you limit MY suffering and shut the hell up about your stupid diet for a change; nobody cares. Even if the number of animals that die in combine deaths every year isn't in the millions, even if it's just one, are you suggesting that the life of one baby rabbit isn't worth saving? Are you placing a value on life? Enjoy your tofu, murderers.

Nobody cares, Mr Maddox? Think again. Check out the intentions, baby: limit HIS suffering. Ahhh...so it's all about him (I knew I was getting somewhere with that ex-girlfriend hypothesis..hehehe.) and his silly ranting. Congratulations, Mr Maddox, for you have shot yourself in the leg for the squillionth time. "are you suggesting that the life of one baby rabbit isn't worth saving" - isn't this contradictory? I mean, so you pity the poor little fuzzy thingy, vegetarians are bigass bullies who have double standards yadayadayada...and you eat..........what? Say it, you twit. I see no reason in continuing the rest of that particular point. Lesson 3: Don't shoot yourself - again!

Poor guy. Maybe he should cool down, lay off the dairy and meat for a bit, and have a refreshing bowl of salad. That should soothe his frazzled nerves and allow him to think more clearly. Check out PETA's reply to his article and his immaturity and flawed logic becomes more evident. Cheers.

2007-06-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

hey all. I'm back from enchanting Bali. No jet lag this time but I still feel rather tired for some reason...photos will be up soon, but there aren't many. Gonna just end off here so I can finally get a good rest on my own bed.

"I wish I could morph into him for one day and bring you out and tell you how you're such a wonder girl..."
Sweetness that brought a faint smile to my lips.

2007-06-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

I'm getting that horrible feeling again. Like the world is spinning too fast, like the days fly by too quickly and everyone seems to be moving forward so fast that I can't keep up. It's just one of those days......and it's at times like this when I start thinking about things that frustrate/ frustrated me, putting me in a even more rotten mood.

I want to hate you 'cos I can't forget you. I hate it that some things you said about me were true......I hate it even more that it was you that said it, I freaking hate how you did so. Every recollection of that conversation squeezes a bit of air out of my lungs......everytime I think of you I get this awful ripping sensation that starts from the pit of my stomach. You self-righteous bastard, I'm surprised you didn't get whiplash from making such a quick turnaround. I hate the fact that the hurt doesn't go away, I blame you for putting me in. A. Fucking. Emotional. Stalemate. Most of all, I desperately, absolutely want to HATE you for the smug existence you're living, for the scornful words I can't make myself forget..for the FEAR, the PARANOIA, of SEEING THE TWO OF YOU WHENEVER I GO OUT. I really want to bash that smug grin off your face, I really do. You asshole...you notice how I say "I want"? It's because (this is all. your. fucking. fault.) I won't want you to be unhappy either. I guess I still care about you even though you don't give a shit about me anymore. This is the thing that truly irks me at the end of the day......the self-loathing, the insecurity that resurfaces over and over again......like some eternal nightmare that doesn't end. It's gonna be a year soon, and if you know that I'm still NOT OVER IT, you'll probably laugh at me. But fuck you.

Neutral Tones

We stood by a pond that winter day,
And the sun was white, as though chidden of God,
And a few leaves lay on the starving sod,
—-They had fallen from an ash, and were gray.
Your eyes on me were as eyes that rove
Over tedious riddles solved years ago;
And some words played between us to and fro-—
On which lost the more by our love.
The smile on your mouth was the deadest thing
Alive enough to have strength to die;
And a grin of bitterness swept thereby
Like an ominous bird a-wing...
Since then, keen lessons that love deceives,
And wrings with wrong, have shaped to me
Your face, and the God-curst sun, and a tree,
And a pond edged with grayish leaves.
-- Thomas Hardy

2007-06-01T21:04:00.000+08:00

Shopping trip in Bugis today! I bought pretty strappy sandals, some facial essentials from Beaute de Kose and a feminine-looking peasant top from Levis. Spending more than $120 at the Kose entitled me to a free beauty bag with samples of cleanser, toner, moisturiser and a hydrating gel mask! I'm such a sucker for free cosmetic samples. :-) All this was topped off by a delicious meal of vegetarian wonton noodles (I think "wanton noodles" sounds hilarious; what, your noodles are lewd, malicious or lascivious is it?! Yet it's such a common sight on the signboards of stalls in our local hawker centres. heehee. ) so needless to say, I'm one contented girl.

Lounging at home due to the absence of employment has made me quite a TV junkie. I'm hooked onto shows on afternoon TV (Ellen Ellen Ellen!!!) and it's more glamourous cousin --- primetime television, and I'm quite ashamed to admit that I've recently been forgoing my evening skipping sessions just to catch 'So You Think You Can Dance' on Channel 5. Yes, I know, I know! Sheesh...the knowing smirks......

Anyway, I managed to catch 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days' at 10 p.m. on Wednesday, which stars Matthew-I've got great pecs-McConaughey and Kate Hudson. For those who haven't watched it, this is the plot summary: (lifted directly from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251127/plotsummary)

Benjamin Barry is an advertising executive competing with two female co-workers for a major campaign for a diamond merchant. He cuts a deal with his competitors that the account is his if he can make a woman of their choice fall in love with him in 10 days. In comes Andie Anderson who, in turn, is writing a story on how to lose guy in 10 days as a bet with her boss to be allowed to write more substantial stories. With a hidden agenda in each camp, will either party be able to complete their mission?
----------

Basically Andie (Kate Hudson) does all these ridiculous things to drive Ben (Mr Sexy Pectorial Muscles) nuts, hoping that he will dump her so she can produce that winning article with all the juicy details about her successfully failed (oxymoron, i know. :p) relationship. On the other hand, Ben tries his hardest to put up with all that nonsense, so that he can make her fall in love with him. She actually names his dick "Princess Sophia"! HAHA! Go rent the VCD or try to download it illegally -at your own risk - if you're in the mood for a chick flick...plenty of laughs guaranteed! One of my other favourite romantic comedies was showed on Ch 5 yesterday night too. '50 First Dates' stars Drew Barrymore as a girl with the inability to convert short-term memories to long-term memories and Adam Sandler is the man who has to make her fall in love with him over and over again every single day. It's not peppered with cliches and it's not your usual happily-ever-after flick, but if you're a total softie like me you'll probably be touched by the extents Adam Sandler's character goes to for the girl of his dreams. There are many real-life instances of couples whose relationships remain undaunted by the presence of illnesses, diseases or unfortunate accidents, and this movie seems just like a reel-life projection of that sort of thing onto the silverscreen. I once read a story in Reader's Digest about a couple who had Alzheimer's and couldn't recognise or remember anyone except each other...in other words, they face foreign and unfamiliar situations and people together with fear and apprehension. The story was written by the couple's daughter and ended with 'Thank God they have each other'. We're all divided on the issue of "true love"; some people think it's possible, some don't. I guess no matter where you stand, you have to admit that this is definitely the closest-to-perfect example of true love in real life...besides a parent's love for his or her child, of course.

Ta.

2007-05-30T20:27:00.000+08:00

Someone once said that music is food for the soul. Truly an apt description, don't you think? Be it the raw, unadulterated angst of Daughtry, soul and funk by the BE-Peas or the smooth serenades of Buble, my soul has indeed been indulging good. :-) If music is soul food, Buble's voice is the food orgasm. The effect of his voice is not unlike the feeling of someone pouring warm, thick and rich dark chocolate all over your skin, and then proceeding to lick it all, off bit by bit. Slowwwly.

Feeling slightly happier today after a good night's sleep...even managed to clean out and re-organise my wardrobe. This time I only had the patience to do it by clothing type, not by colour like last time. If you're reading this with a gaping mouth and shaking your head in disbelief, YES, I'm that anal and neurotic about certain things. ;-) Looking forward to social activities lined up for the coming weekend, as well as next week. Yay Kbox! Haircut's scheduled for Saturday evening (FINALLY!!), which means I gotta rush home right after Jap to meet Elaine the hairdresser who's making a house call. I'm definitely not gonna be able to attend 31/05's class dinner at Azabu Sabo. Sorry to disappoint...I'm feeling sore not just because I can't catch up with everyone, but also 'cos I so want to try the red bean ice cream!

Chatted with Yoggi online for awhile in the afternoon. We started talking about "Twelfth Night" (our O-level Lit play) and it was nostalgia nostalgia all over again. Ahhhh. 'If music be the Food of Love, play on!'

Bathtime after Corinne Bailey Rae provides a dose of whimsicality, ending this post on a sweet, dreamy note.

"Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet..." Such saccharine, subtle sensuality. I like.

2007-05-30T11:32:00.000+08:00

Men

When I was young,
I used toWatch behind the curtains
As men walked up and down the street. Wino men, old men.
Young men sharp as mustard.
See them. Men are always
Going somewhere.
They knew I was there. Fifteen
Years old and starving for them.
Under my window, they would pauses,
Their shoulders high like the
Breasts of a young girl,
Jacket tails slapping over
Those behinds,
Men.

One day they hold you in the
Palms of their hands, gentle, as if you
Were the last raw egg in the world. Then
They tighten up. Just a little. The
First squeeze is nice. A quick hug.
Soft into your defenselessness. A little
More. The hurt begins. Wrench out a
Smile that slides around the fear. When the
Air disappears,
Your mind pops, exploding fiercely, briefly,
Like the head of a kitchen match. Shattered.
It is your juice
That runs down their legs. Staining their shoes.
When the earth rights itself again,
And taste tries to return to the tongue,
Your body has slammed shut. Forever.
No keys exist.

Then the window draws full upon
Your mind. There, just beyond
The sway of curtains, men walk.
Knowing something.
Going someplace.
But this time, I will simply
Stand and watch.

Maybe.

--- Maya Angelou

This left me completely speechless when I first read it, because I was struck by the details of how the girl is starving for the men outside! Did abit of research and found out that the poet was actually raped when she was a kid, at about 10 years old. So she's actually writing from experience, which is really brave of her because people usually try their darndest to forget about the bad things that happened in their lives. I imagine she had to mentally re-visit the experience in order to weave the memories into such an explicit description of a traumatic encounter. Memories are intangible, yet oh so powerful.

It's a bittersweet poem about growing up and the loss of innocence...like getting pricked by a beautiful rose that beckons at you to pluck it, before you realise that it has thorns. " I especially love the the twist at the end. 'Maybe'. Talk about forgetting the lessons you SHOULD remember. Kudos to the poet for conveying so beautifully the ability of men to stir up an unknown fascination in the minds of girls just dipping their toes into womanhood, and the reminder that there is a heavy price to pay if you bite off more than you can chew.

"...Jacket tails slapping over /Those behinds...."
Temptation, temptation....oh, so naughty.

2007-05-29T16:54:00.000+08:00

I'm utterly shattered.

50 words will decide the fate of my appeal at the Office of Admissions.

Fifty freaking words.

FIFTY!!!!

Can you say "fuck"?

2007-05-29T07:19:00.000+08:00

Pirates of the Carribbean: At World's End was pretty disappointing. At slightly less than 3 hours long, I actually found myself wishing that the movie would end sooner. I'm not a fan of long, messy sword-fighting scenes (oops, spoiler.)...but Johnny Depp is hilarious as the flamboyant and eccentric Jack Sparrow. Plus, I realised that underneath the dreads and heavy eyeliner, he's rather good-looking. I could file my nails on his amazing cheekbones. Sighhhh. Somehow Orlando Bloom doesn't have the same effect on me. I think his role as the wimpy Paris in Troy is to blame....speaking of Troy, I'm reminded of how Wei Yen, Yoggi and I would argue about who was Mrs Brad Pitt. (Mememememe!!!) HAHA. Anyway, I guess Orlando Bloom will always appear to me as a weak pretty boy. Keira Knightley also lends eyecandy to the movie, but unlike Pretty Boy, she lights up the screen with her presence and she really CAN act. She has really shed her tomboy image from Bend It Like Beckham...her gung-ho Elizabeth Swann is immensely likable and she even manages to look great in her manly Chinese pirate outfit. Strong-willed, feisty but at the same time feminine, alluring and devoted to the one she loves...I find that incredibly sexy.

Yesterday I bumped into 3 people I knew (or sorta), which is pretty rare for a Monday. First, I saw Gee Chong at Somerset MRT station, my cousin Kat's husband and father of CHLOE, my Michelin Man-lookalike 2 month-old niece. Okay, at this point, I simply MUST post a picture of her.

Ok fine, TWO pictures. Can you say 'cute'?

Second person I bumped into was Wei Yen, who was shopping with her Mum. Man, I'm suuper excited about Monday's Kbox sess! Heeheehee...the only sad thing is that Yoggi can't join us 'cos of work. Looking forward to seeing my ladies again. The third person was Persis, a senior from TJC who's an acquaintance...massive shock for Tuan. ;-)

Before the movie, we had a MASSSSSSIVE lunch at Billy Bomber's. Tuan had a "Yin and Yang", which was basically a mammoth burger with a beef patty & boneless chicken leg topped with cheddar cheese & egg sunny-side up. It was quite funny 'cos he had to open his mouth really big, especially for that first bite. I was rather grossed out by the dripping juices though...CARNIVORE DELIGHT. Eeek. I wanted to order the Caesar Salad with Croutons at first, but it wasn't available! That's quite odd, isn't it? I mean, salad is one of the most basic menu items! In the end I ordered the Club Sandwich and took out the really large chunks of chicken and extremely fat rashers of bacon for Mr Carnivore. They actually have a dessert menu. I think it would quite amazing for people to have room for dessert after their main course there!

A picture of me and Mr Photogenic (NOT FAIR!!) at Billy's. My bruise hasn't completely disappeared yet. :-(

2007-05-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

From Chun Kiat's blog:

You've been tagged! Rule of the game: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things, habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

(1) I'm an ovo-lacto vegetarian, who hopes to eventually turn vegan. Bit tough, considering my dependence on dairy.

(2) I used to be a nail-biter as a kid. Nasty habit.

(3) I always knock on the main doors, toilet doors, cupboards and drawers of hotel rooms before opening them. Call me superstitious, whatever your want.

(4) I hate peas. Really HATE peas.

(5) I have really terrible myopia. Like, 750+ per eye. Thankfully it's stabilised.

(6) I'm really anal about soft drinks; I try not to drink anything that is artificially sweetened and has an abundance of additives and other cancer-causing substances.

(7) I eat salad with no dressing.

(8) I'm currently addicted to organic black sesame tahini, which I eat with almost anything.

(9) I have lesbian tendencies. (oh wait, this isn't really a secret huh.)

(10) I've always wanted a hotter, rounder-looking ass.

I TAG: Blogger friends who read this. muah

2007-05-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

Today is not a good day. I actually ate fish for dinner!! Ahhhhhhhh. Mum probably doesn't think I'm serious about the vegetarian thing. Chewing fish flesh while imagining live fish with eyes bulging out due to pressure changes, guts spilling out of their mouths, gasping for breath while fishermen de-gut them is NOT a pleasant experience.

Sent cousin Xin Yi off last night. The poor girl cried until her eyes were so red...it was heartwrenching to bid goodbye to a childhood playmate. Take care girl. We'll miss you...4 years will pass by soon.

2007-05-27T22:37:00.000+08:00

From my hotmail inbox:

Laura K.Lawless - About French Language: Tennis Vocabulary

I do not want to learn freaking tennis vocabulary. Ugh.

2007-05-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

This is so cute.. in a dark, macabre sorta way. ^_^

if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops...

2007-05-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

It's 2 more days till cousin Xin Yi leaves for Melbourne! We went to Far East Plaza yesterday for a short shopping spree. I bought a bag, which I intend to use for school while she bought a whole assortment of hair accessories...hairbands, rubberbands, clips, the works. Then it was off to some quaint little ramen place for lunch and Gelare for waffles with strawberry cheesecake ice cream! Yummy. :-)

The June holidays are here for the students, so I'll be jobless for the entire month. I don't mind the extra free time - it's the Great Singapore Sale, duh - but I hate the feeling of not earning money.

M just smsed me. I don't feel like talking to him.

As I was saying, not having enough money to spend totally sucks...but obviously I won't go to the extreme of selling ass for money. I brought this up 'cos my Mum and I joked about this the other day. Those girls who proclaim that they need sugar daddies (even in jest) should really re-think; to get all the money, designer clothes, handbags and shoes you want in exchange for contractual sex in complaince to the requests of an old man (who may not even have his own hair or teeth) doesn't seem like a very good deal to me! I think the visual impact alone will scar me for life; kinda reminds me of 'The Handmaid's Tale'. :-p

It's day 3 of vegetarianism, and I'm doing good. After I signed the pledge on Tuesday, my Mum bought us chicken rice for dinner! I only ate the rice, 'cos I couldn't bring myself to eat the chicken. I told Wei Yen this and she was like, "Chicken rice rice is nice lor..the chicken is just for show." I don't disagree, but I know they're people who like the chicken and are particular about how cooked it is; some prefer the boiled white-skinned version of chicken instead of the roasted one...and they like the flesh of the boiled chicken to be slightly undercooked, with a little pinkish tinge. The one my mum bought was like that, and she insisted that I eat at least ONE piece. It was wet and some parts were pink, and at the bottom of the styrofoam box was a slimey layer of jelly, which is apparently delicious. I don't think I ever had such a hard time eating meat, ever. Imagine reading about chickens suffering in factory farms and watching as they die a slow, painful death in slaughterhouses...then imagine having to eat the partially-cooked corpse of a chicken 15 minutes after that. You'll get what I mean.

I discovered a nice vegetarian eating house at Hougang Avenue 8, block 501 (I think) today! It's a small place, but they serve things like yong tau foo, handmade noodles (I recommend the fried version with mushrooms), roti prata, chinese dim sum such as xiao long bao, red bean pancake and guo tie, plus an assortment of cookies. Everything is totally vegetarian and pretty healthy, apart from the fried items. I guess it's not hard to stick to the whole veggie thing even when dining out cos vegetarian stalls are so common, but it's the variety of choices available that makes the difference. I'm not a big fan of mock meat, which is essentially a whole lot of gluten and not much else...so I'm very delighted when I chance upon stalls that let you choose between white rice and brown rice, and have alot of vegetable dishes. Lalalalaaaa...

Just heard from Angie that 'Pirates' 3 isn't very good! Will be watching it with Tuan on Monday. Neither of us have watched the first and second movies, so hopefully we'll be able to enjoy it more without the subconscious comparisons. I guess people are always skeptical about movies that have sequels and to me, the number 2s and 3s somehow pale in comparison to the first one. I managed to catch Spidey 3, and I have to say that while the CGI was entertaining, I didn't particularly like the ending. I like the idea of a badass Peter Parker though...and Venom is such a cool villain.

hellomelloo

2007-05-22T12:18:00.000+08:00

I've been jobless for 2 weeks, owing to a slow recovery from wisdom tooth surgery. The latest tooth extracted was 1mm deeper than the last, which makes the extraction procedure 4 times more difficult, "according to dental textbooks." The swell was alot worse...for those of you who saw me the last time, this really takes the cake. Anyway, my very limited fascination with the macabre and gore prevented me from extensively photographing and documenting the appearance of the swelling (and the series of ulcers I got from chewing up my left cheek while mistaking it for a piece of gauze while under anaesthesia. Ask me. ;-) ), but here's a picture of me after the swelling had more or less gone down. As you can see, there's a hideously unflattering greenish-yellow bruise that spreads from my left lower-jaw to my neck. It is presently a darker shade of green, which doesn't make it any better. I met Jasmine (Goh, DHS/TJC, bballer) for dinner yesterday and she thought someone punched me. Well, I suppose I can tell that to my students if they ask...upping my street cred a little. "Well...this girl and I had a disagreement and she sorta punched me, but it's okay 'cos I gave her not one, but TWO black eyes...."

I'm kidding.

For some reason, the photo seems cropped, so you can't really see the whole bruise. Ah well.

I've just signed the "30-Day Veg Pledge" on Go-Veg.com (check it out at http://www.goveg.com/), after a few random clicks on News Target led me to the PETA website. I first came across this when I visited CK's blog (fyi, my friend was practically a carnivore before he decided to make an informed transition..) and I think he's done a great job describing the plight of the animals we eat, in a nutshell.

Disclaimer: If you're a meat-lover who REALLY REALLY REALLY can't bear to give up your favourite chicken chops, hamburgers, steaks, etc. and will take offence if someone tries to convince you otherwise, it's up to you to decide if you still want to click on most of the links provided 'cos there are pretty graphic descriptions and pictures.

It's gonna be tough for me, even as someone who doesn't really eat any other meat besides fish and (occasionally) prawns. For starters, my family eats ALOT of fish 'cos it's apparently the healthiest meat (omega-3, low fat, blahblahblah..) and my Mum gets all freaked out and worried about my health if I don't eat enough meat; I'm mildly anaemic and blood pressure's slightly on the low side. I've also grown to love dairy products, which have become quite a large part of my diet. So I guess it's baby steps for me...I'm still uncertain about veganism, but at the very least I will try to make necessary adjustments towards adopting a vegetarian diet.

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=meet_your_meat&Player=wm

What made me decide to go vegetarian? I think it's hard to describe the stuff I've seen and read in a few lines or paragraphs. If you really want to know, visit Go-Veg.com, or for starters, watch the video (clickclickclick!) "Meet Your Meat". For me, that did it, after reading scores of articles about the horrible treatment animals are subjected to in "factory farms" (euphemism for "Hell on Earth" for animals) and cold-blooded murders in slaughterhouses. It's like, you're watching the video, hearing the narrator's voice and you wonder what the hell are those sounds in the background...then you realise, oh my god, those are animals screaming* in pain.

*squealing/bleating/squawking/etc.

I think I've said enough. If you're not eating lunch, bored, and open-minded enough, try clicking on the links in this entry. Better yet, if you're already a vegetarian for health or religious reasons, click on them as well to find out about the cause you're supporting. To friends: if you guys think it's pure bullshit and remain unconvinced, rest assured that I won't try to influence you (so don't cut me out of your social circles :-p ) or disgust you with gory details about the food on your plates.

Time to go do some housework...ta-ta, with love.

ahh.

2007-05-04T23:53:00.000+08:00

I found out the name of the cute little boy who asked, 'Is this the last time I'm seeing you?' His name is Faris. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... Everytime I see that kid, I feel like pinching his cheeks. :-)

Laaadeedaadeedaaa Randomness is my middle name.

Ta.

2007-05-03T15:51:00.000+08:00

This was taken somewhere towards the end of November 2006, during a family vacation to Italy. It was before my tour group boarded a ferry that would take us to Isola Bella, which means 'beautiful island'. The crisp, fresh air...the smooth caress of the ocean breeze against my cheek, playfully teasing my scarf...and best of all, the fabulous scenery. Truly a feast for the senses and sweet, sweet (temporary) relief from the world's weariness. I miss the feeling of being on vacation! Currently, there are plans to go to Japan at the end of June, but details are still fuzzy at the moment. Apparently, Mum's siblings are treating us to an all-expense paid holiday. Sadly, my Dad won't be able to go because he'll be working in Doha...sighh.

Anyway, it's been a boring Thursday. No work for the time being, 'cos the teacher whose duties I had been taking over has returned to work. I'm rather disappointed at the fact that I won't be seeing some of my students for lessons anymore, but it also feels good to be able to unload the massive burden I've been carrying around for slightly more than two weeks. I'm pretty worried for the kids though...they hate their current teacher (fyi, she IS a total cow. Really self-centered and rude. Ugh.) and that's not a good thing 'cos they don't hand in the work she assigns on purpose, which will have serious repercussions during their exams.

Loads of classroom drama for the past couple of weeks, and a fight in a sec 3 Normal Tech class closed my latest assignment in a stunning crescendo. Basically, some scrawny, pimply Ah-Beng wannabe pissed me off, then proceeded to irritate his classmate who then made it his mission to beat the crap outta that guy. To tell you the truth, I was secretly rooting for the classmate and so was the rest of the class; Ah-Beng wannabe likes to act tough and pisses people off on a daily basis. The queue of people waiting for a chance to give him a tight slap stretches from Loyang to Jurong, and there's probably an online waiting list as well.

Tuesday: public holiday. Met up with Tuan, who introduced me to this quaint little Turkish deli at Far East, called Anatolia. Good food, better conversation.Talked about lots of random things, sad stuff and happy stuff...relationships, family, love, sex, more sex. HAHA horny twit!!! Fantastic company made up for the less-than-fantastic coffee at Big O, so there was no need to go to Starbucks. ;-) Right, Tuan? RIGHT?

Tralalalala. Feel like going to sleep soon.

Attack of the Monkey Boys - the Sequel

2007-04-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

Something that made me smile today:

Little sec 1 boys ambushing me after school today as I waited for the Family Taxi to pick me up after work. 3 of them wriggled onto the bench next to me, and we sat like this in the middle of the foyer:

That's how small they are! One of them actually turned to me and said, "Is this the last time I'm seeing you?" with this really serious expression on his face, and I just COULDN'T bring myself to laugh. I tried telling them to go home and play computer games but they actually wanted to wait with me...so sweet huh. Then they started scolding the sec 3s who walked past and waved at me, and I decided to wait for Mum outside the school instead.

Anyway, it was a pretty exhausting day for me. Classes with the sec 3s were okay, with minimal disruptions. However,as usual the sec 1s were full of surprises. Example of conversation that made me do a double-take:

chubby sec 1 boy: Teacher, u pretty la.
Me: get to class.
chubby sec 1 boy: KISS KISS?
And he actually ANGLES HIS CHEEK towards me. -insert WTH-esque expression of your choice-

It was Attack of the Monkey Boys -the Sequel for the last 3 periods (THREE PERIODS OF MATHS. Poor things.). I chased 4 naughty boys up and down the stairs while my senior co-teacher shepherded the rest of the class to the foyer in a desperate attempt to keep them from becoming restless. Being the relief teacher, such things are obviously left to me. So anyway, I couldn't catch them in the end, and the buggers were caught by their discipline master. No prizes for guessing what happens next. I was with my co-teacher when she spoke to one of the HODs (the PE-CCA guy)and let me tell you, you do not want to piss these people off. The way the staff at _______ secondary dish out punishment/detention with the swiftness and stealth of trained military personnel is scary.

Co-teacher: We have been onto these 4 students for a long time. They are always causing trouble in class.
PE HOD guy: Yes, I already spoke to Mr N (the DM). These 4, we're dealing with them on another level. We will keep building up records of all their offenses until we can CANE them.

And at that precise moment he said that, all the bunny rabbits died, locusts blocked out the sun and I felt really, really, sorry for those 4.

Yeowch.

2007-04-09T15:28:00.000+08:00

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

*

No work for me today, so it's just the usual rendezvous with my computer. The skies are grey and it's been looking like it's gonna rain since 3 hours ago...that sort of annoying weather that basically pisses me off. Maybe it's the flu, maybe it's PMS, because I've been feeling rather down since I woke up this morning. No, seriously, I haven't joined the emo tribe (cues dramatic eyeball-rolling; to this generation's 'emo kids': PUT A SOCK IN IT.), and this isn't one of those 'nobody loves me, I feel so lost and alone...don't know why I'm not in a good mood -pout-' laments (more eyeball acrobatics..). I'm just sick of all this waiting for Uni application results thing, sick of being ill, sick of feeling like I've been kicked into an open sea without a life buoy. I hate feeling like this, because I know my priorities (YES I DO) and I'm aware that if this is the kind of attitude I'm going to have, I am so, so screwed for next few years.

Aaaaaaaaaargh!

*

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it

*

Spoke to Marc online for awhile, regarding some new revelations I've had. Apparently I'm now in 100 percent "Guy Mode", haha! Well, I guess that's the proper term to describe emotional irresponsibility and reckless behaviour. Hur. Well, much better than putting in so much and getting nothing but disappointed in the end --"it's not what you get in return that matters"? I'm not THAT altruistic hun, so sue me.

I hate this nonsense.

Bleughh.

I'm a relief teacher! ( part 2)

2007-04-09T03:02:00.000+08:00

(continued fromn previous post)

My next 2 classes (another sec one history class and a sec three CH class) were relatively well-behaved and respectful, so I was glad to take a breather after the exhausting first four periods. The last lesson of the day was Character Development with a sec 3 Normal Tech class, and I had zero lesson materials to fall back on. Nevertheless I went into class five minutes earlier and ended up waiting for another ten minutes before the first few students staggered in lazily. Upon seeing that I was a RT, alot of them stood up, 'Cher, need to go toilet.'. With their bags? Get real. Honestly, do they think that RTs are morons or what...so I happily made them leave their bags in class and deployed them to the loo one by one. HAH. 100 points to Pearlyn for keeping her guard up!

I gave them 2 options: (A) We talk about perseverance and exam preparation (as recommended by Ms Z) or (B) They do their own work quietly. No prizes for guessing which one they picked...but it was indeed a culture shock for me when I realised that during the 25-minute lesson, not a single student took out any work or did any revision; even the quietest girls merely sat in their groups and gabbed away! In DHS students would do their work without the teacher asking, and even when they were not supposed to be doing work some people would actually do it under their desks. Oh well, it's not a very fair comparison anyway. The class was fine, apart from a crew of cheeky boys who asked for my msn/friendster/handphone number/age, and some of them actually asked if I wanted to go steady. HAHAHAHAHA! I just looked at them with my most exasperated-don't-even-think-about-it-piss-off-do-your-work expression and said, 'I'm older than you, everything else is none of your business.' It pretty much took care of everything, but still didn't stop these particular 2 boys from repeatedly asking for a toilet pass to be excused to the gents. Those were the 2 boys who started the whole, 'eh cher u how old ah, eh cher u got boyfriend? cher I'm 18' crap which made the others start too. So I let them go the first time and they took 10 minutes to come back. And when I asked them for the past, Burly Dude #1 goes, "oh shit! Left in the toilet! CHer we must go and get it back!" This guy made Keanu Reeves' acting look Oscar-worthy. By the time the dymanic duo returned 5 minutes later I was ready to bare my fangs at them and claw their eyes out, after stapling their mouths shut without anaesthetic. Slowly.

THe bell rang at 1.30 pm and released them all from their misery. I was happily packing my bags when Burly Dudes corner me at the teachers' desk.

"CHer, so how old are you. I'm 18. -crooked grin-"
WTF.
Me: Older than you la! Eh, class has ended! Go and have fun!
"19? 20? 21?"
Me: -grabbing my bags and heading out as fast as my 2-inch wedges could carry me- Aiya! Enjoy your lunch!

And that was pretty much everything that happened on Thursday. The students at _________ secondary are a misunderstood bunch..in fact, the atmosphere there is so much more friendly than schools like CCHSM and DHS. Especially DHS. Everywhere I go I get smiles and greetings from students..some of them whose classes I didn't go to. I observed them as I was sitting outside the HOD room waiting for students to hand in their assignments...the genuine camaraderie and friendship between them was evident, and the sincerity with which they treated each other was a far cry from the guardedness that was a characteristic of many of my DHS classmates. Monkey Boys or not, I'm still looking forward to going back this week. I just wish my cough would recover soon.

croaaaaaak.

sCrutiny

Adverse or Averse?

Andre Jordan...again.

A Fatal Tale

Loooloooloooo

Sleep-deprived no more!

Mozerella Firefox!

No shit!

Time is money and money is time.

I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.

And whatnots.

In my field of paper flowers

Whilst the Butterflies Dance

You Give Me Something – James Morrison

And she’s back.

Pearlyn is...

Happy Belated Valentine’s

CNY

Nooo.

A Heart-shaped Kite

Same difference.

Torn.

WTF.

Rose hips and tea leaves

Poison.

Hmm.

I wish

Good Morning, Baltimoreeeeeeeeeee!

Untitled.

Like, totally for sure!

Morning Commuting

We'll go to Bavaria, my love.

The rest is still unwritten.

Form of formlessness, presence in absence.

HAHAHA

Wild Horses - Alicia Keys feat. Adam Levine

Envy

ang ku kueh!!

I *hearts* Singapore - Rantings of a disgruntled commuter

nostalgia

Garskin!

Photos photos!

THE BRACELET!

wheeeoooo

Nincompoops!

workworkwork

Bali Bali Bali

if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops...

hellomelloo

ahh.

Attack of the Monkey Boys - the Sequel

I'm a relief teacher! ( part 2)

I hearts Singapore - Rantings of a disgruntled commuter